{"id":84912,"date":"2017-05-23T05:00:52","date_gmt":"2017-05-23T12:00:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/?p=84912"},"modified":"2017-05-22T09:09:03","modified_gmt":"2017-05-22T16:09:03","slug":"xxx-return-xander-cage-contest-results","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/xxx-return-xander-cage-contest-results\/","title":{"rendered":"‘xXx: Return of Xander Cage’ Contest Results"},"content":{"rendered":"

I recognize that the movie wasn’t exactly a huge blockbuster, but I have to say I’m surprised that our ‘xXx: Return of Xander Cage’ contest drew fewer entries than the ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ giveaway from the previous week. In some ways, this actually makes it harder to judge.
\n<\/p>\n

I’m guessing that people were more eager to make fun of the ‘Fifty Shades’ sequel. Either that, or the appeal of boobies was stronger.<\/p>\n

In any case, as explained in the original post<\/a>, we challenged you to provide funny or clever captions for the following image:<\/p>\n

\"And<\/a><\/p>\n

Honorable Mentions<\/h2>\n
    \n
  1. Elizabeth:<\/strong> Damn man, I thought you were full of crap but I really can see your hair grow Just standing here.<\/li>\n
  2. NJScorpio:<\/strong> “Sam, how’d they get you back for another one of these?”
    \n“I live my life a quarter-million dollar cameo at a time.”<\/li>\n
  3. Derek:<\/strong> Look Vin, I’m sorry but I already told you I can’t get you into the next Star Wars movie.<\/li>\n
  4. Brian:<\/strong> You don’t feel wrong shooting a triple xxx movie in a church?<\/li>\n
  5. Scott D:<\/strong> The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee, as well as what’s in my wallet.<\/li>\n
  6. Jim:<\/strong> “You mumble. Did I just hear you say something about The Fat and the Frivolous #9 ?”<\/li>\n
  7. Jonathan:<\/strong> Jackson, “Vin, I’m a big fan of your work!”
    \nDiesel, “Yeah?”
    \nJackson, “Hell yeah! Your best work has to be when you say, “I am Groot.””
    \nDiesel, “\u2026 but, that’s my only line in two movies.”
    \nJackson, “Exactly.”<\/li>\n
  8. Kyle:<\/strong> TItle: XXX
    \nMain Character: Xander Cage
    \nStarring Actor: Vin Diesel
    \nActresses named Asia and Rose<\/p>\n

    How are these not porn?<\/li>\n

  9. Csm101:<\/strong> “I’m triple X.”
    \n“No you’re not, you’re pg-13.”<\/li>\n
  10. Bernie W:<\/strong> I live my life one bad movie at a time.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    The Winner!<\/h2>\n

    I don’t judge these contests based on quantity. Someone who submits one entry is just as likely to win as someone who submits the limit of ten. That said, Tony delivered ten gems in one post.<\/p>\n

    1.) Thanks to your wardrobe, Xander, America is winning the arms race.
    \n2.) Can you hand me my wallet? It’s the one that says ‘Will do literally any movie.’
    \n3.) You’ll be able to gain the mercenaries’ trust easily, Xander, because it’s obvious that you have no tricks up your sleeves.
    \n4.) My name? It comes from the Spanish for ‘Samuel The Jackson.’
    \n5.) For the last time, I wasn’t in that movie, so I can’t ask them to write Riddick into the Matrix 4.
    \n6.) You know, Xander, I’m tired of all these monkey-fighting rogue forces crashing these Monday-to-Friday satellites.
    \n7.) Hey Vin, you know where the generals keep their armies? In their sleevies.
    \n8.) I don’t know if you’re aware, Vin, but \u2026 I can drive a car.
    \n9.) Don’t worry, Xander, I got your back. I’m a cat that won’t cop out, when there’s danger all about. I’ll risk my neck for my brother, man.
    \n10.) Xander, I know you just wanted a simple life of Xtreme sports, stealing senator’s cars and wearing fluffy jackets, but the fate of the free world is at stake. I’m initiating Ride or Die Protocol, fam.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    Congratulations to Tony for winning ‘xXx: Return of Xander Cage<\/a>‘ on UltraHD and Blu-ray, and thanks to everyone else for participating in our contest.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I recognize that the movie wasn’t exactly a huge blockbuster, but I have to say I’m surprised that our ‘xXx: Return of Xander Cage’ contest drew fewer entries than the ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ giveaway from the previous week. In some ways, this actually makes it harder to judge.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":84913,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[140,4707],"tags":[5239,67,70,2863,9334],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/84912"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=84912"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/84912\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":85047,"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/84912\/revisions\/85047"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/84913"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=84912"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=84912"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=84912"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}