The past couple of years, I live-blogged the Golden Globes here in the blog. Unfortunately, while we had a lot of fun with that, I wasn’t able to do it again this year. I just have too much going on with my home remodel and moving right now. Also, I’ve been walloped by that flu that’s going around. I did watch the ceremony, however, and took notes while doing so. Here, then, are some of my slightly feverish, perhaps delusional stream-of-consciousness ramblings on the event.
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Ricky Gervais is out. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are in as the new hosts. I approved of this. They’re both funny ladies, even if ’30 Rock’ is past its prime. They both look great on stage. Amy Poehler’s showing a little cleavage. Newly single, I suppose she’s got to put herself back out there.<\/p>\n
Bill Murray looks like a walrus.<\/p>\n
I think Quentin Tarantino just tried to grope Sophia Vergara.<\/p>\n
Nice dig at Ricky Gervais.<\/p>\n
Amy Poehler just burned James Cameron. The whole room erupts in laughter.<\/p>\n
Does Kristen Wiig have any clothes on at all?<\/p>\n
Hey, let’s celebrate all the people who didn’t get nominated for Oscars!<\/p>\n
Jodie Foster brought Mel Gibson as her date. <\/p>\n
Is Anne Hathaway pregnant beneath that weird dress? She looks like she’s being slowly swallowed by an albino tube worm.<\/p>\n
Jennifer Lawrence looking kind of dumpy.<\/p>\n
Monologue is very funny.<\/p>\n
Bradley Cooper and Kate Hudson, two actors I never need to see again in anything ever.<\/p>\n
Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture goes to Christoph Waltz. No chance he’ll get the Oscar. Is he going to name every single person who he worked with on the film? Move on already.<\/p>\n
Tommy Lee Jones looks about 150 years old, yet it still works for him.<\/p>\n
Has Dennis Quaid’s show been canceled yet?<\/p>\n
Supporting Actress in a TV Show \u2013 Maggie Smith, the one nominee who couldn’t be bothered to show up. <\/p>\n
Mrs. Z finds Eva Longoria’s dress “vulgar.”<\/p>\n
Michael J. Fox’s son looks like he could be his clone.<\/p>\n
Miniseries or TV Movie \u2013 ‘Game Change’. When in doubt, give it to HBO. Danny Strong is about a foot shorter than everyone else on stage. Jay Roach looks like Michael Bay.<\/p>\n
Best Actress in a Miniseries or TV Movie \u2013 Julianne Moore, big shock. Funny gag with fake nominee. The producers are actually playing her off with music. I didn’t realize that they did that at the Globes.<\/p>\n
Catherine Zeta-Jones presents ‘Les Miserables’, and kind of embarrasses herself at it. <\/p>\n
HFPA President has to make a speech. Time to tune out. She makes a couple jokes that aren’t particularly funny.<\/p>\n
‘The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel’ gets a nomination. This is what happens when you make a separate Comedy category.<\/p>\n
Best Actor, TV \u2013 Damian Lewis. Good choice. I forget that he’s British.<\/p>\n
Best TV Series, Drama \u2013 ‘Homeland’. Kind of an upset for ‘Downton Abbey’.<\/p>\n
Claire Danes had a baby a month ago. Absolutely no sign of it. Producer says she was 8 months pregnant while filming the season. What?!<\/p>\n
Sound quality is terrible at the event this year.<\/p>\n
The real CIA agent that ‘Argo’ is based on presents the film. Funny, he doesn’t look anything like Ben Affleck.<\/p>\n
J.Lo looks like she’s being swallowed by white moss. Is it awkward for her to step out on stage immediately after they talk about Affleck?<\/p>\n
Best Original Score \u2013 ‘The Life of Pi’ guy beats John Williams. Ironic that the winning composer gets played off by music.<\/p>\n
Best Original Song \u2013 Adele for ‘Skyfall’. No surprise. She’s fun on stage. Mrs. Z says, “Now she looks like somebody who just had a baby a month ago!”<\/p>\n
‘Act of Valor’ has a nomination, seriously? Never even heard of ‘Stand-Up Guys’. What is that?<\/p>\n
Jessica Alba’s cleavage is exceedingly bronzed.<\/p>\n
Best Actor in a TV Movie or Miniseries \u2013 Kevin Costner for ‘Hatfields & McCoys’. Huh. His story is lulling me to sleep.<\/p>\n
I like these fake nominations for ‘Dog President’.<\/p>\n
Bill Clinton, WTF? I believe Lena Dunham actually did just say “WTF?” Ah, he’s there to present ‘Lincoln’. That makes sense. Still surprising.<\/p>\n
Clips from the movie still look boring as hell, sorry. I think Tommy Lee Jones fell asleep, and he was in the damn thing!<\/p>\n
“That was Hillary Clinton’s husband!” Nice.<\/p>\n
Seriously, did Kristen Wiig forget to get dressed before showing up? Her and Will Ferrell’s shtick is kind of funny but is dragging on a bit much. Tommy Lee Jones is not remotely amused.<\/p>\n
Best Actress, Comedy\/Musical \u2013 Jennifer Lawrence. Content yourself with this one, Jen, because the Oscar’s going to Hathaway.<\/p>\n
Kristen Bell is very pregnant, and looks like she’s wearing a tent.<\/p>\n
Best Supporting Actor, TV \u2013 Ed Harris. Didn’t bother to show up.<\/p>\n
Jonah Hill’s fat again. Guess fad diets aren’t a good idea after all. Who’da thunk it?<\/p>\n
Best Supporting Actress, Drama \u2013 Anne Hathaway. How is she in the Drama category at all, and not Comedy\/Musical? The last I checked, ‘Les Miserables’ was a musical.<\/p>\n
Aww, classy shout-out to Sally Field.<\/p>\n
Best Screenplay \u2013 Tarantino. Surprising. <\/p>\n
Jeremy Irons almost makes ‘Salmon Fishing in the Yemen’ sound like an interesting movie. Almost. <\/p>\n
Best Actor, TV Comedy\/Musical \u2013 Don Cheadle, ‘House of Lies’. Don’t get Showtime, never seen it.<\/p>\n
Stallone and Schwarzenegger present Best Foreign Film. Weird. <\/p>\n
Best Foreign Language Film \u2013 ‘Amour’. Guess that’s a lock for the same award at the Oscars.<\/p>\n
Poor Nathan Fillion has to share the stage with gross Leah Michelle.<\/p>\n
Best Actress, TV Drama \u2013 Claire Danes, unsurprisingly. She seems like she may actually be manic depressive.<\/p>\n
Is ‘Damages’ still on? That basically vanished when it got shifted off to DirecTV.<\/p>\n
It’s currently 9:30, and it feels like most of the major awards have already been given out. Is this thing really scheduled until 11:00? Why can’t the Oscars ever move this briskly? The people at AMPAS really need to start paying attention to the Globes to see how a telecast should work.<\/p>\n
Sacha Baron Cohen just dissed Russell Crowe big time. Whoa. <\/p>\n
Best Animated Feature \u2013 ‘Brave’ beats ‘Wreck-It Ralph’. Very shocking. Even the winning director doesn’t believe it. Nice of him to thank Brenda Chapman, who got fired halfway though production.<\/p>\n
The other competition in this category is seriously lame. ‘Hotel Transylvania’ and ‘Rise of the Guardians’, really?<\/p>\n
Liev Schreiber makes ‘Life of Pi’ sound like the dumbest movie ever. Probably not his intention.<\/p>\n
Best Actress, TV Comedy\/Musical \u2013 Lena Dunham. No offense, but Julia Louis-Dreyfus wuz robbed.<\/p>\n
Dunham is hobbling in heels. Hilarious. She’s shaking life a leaf on stage.<\/p>\n
Robert Downey, Jr., “an actor so versatile that he’s played Iron Man in three different movies.”<\/p>\n
RDJ presents Jodie Foster’s lifetime achievement award. I thought that’s what Mel Gibson was there for? Very funny intro.<\/p>\n
This clip tribute showcases some of her crappiest movies. ‘Flightplan’ and ‘Nell’, really?<\/p>\n
Fun speech from Foster.<\/p>\n
So, I guess this means that she’s officially out. I mean, everyone in the world has known for decades, but she’s never publicly talked about it. <\/p>\n
Shit just got deep, y’all.<\/p>\n
Wait, is she retiring, or not retiring, or going into politics, or what? I’m confused.<\/p>\n
Is one of Halle Berry’s breasts larger than the other? Like, way larger? I’ve seen them in ‘Swordfish’. I don’t remember that.<\/p>\n
Best Director \u2013 Ben Affleck. He looks dumbfounded. Guess the Globes don’t give a crap about being a predictor for the Oscars anymore.<\/p>\n
Wait, it’s 10:18 and this thing is almost over?<\/p>\n
Josh Brolin presents ‘Moonrise Kingdom’. Not nominated for an Oscar.<\/p>\n
Jay Leno and Jimmy Fallon. One of these men is funny. The other is Jay Leno.<\/p>\n
Best Comedy or Musical, TV \u2013 Girls, Girls, Girls\u2026<\/p>\n
Dunham thanks Chad Lowe. Too funny.<\/p>\n
Christian Bale hasn’t showered in a month.<\/p>\n
Best Actor, Comedy\/Musical \u2013 Hugh Jackman, ‘Les Miserables’. So, in this category, it’s a musical, but when Anne Hathaway won, it was a drama. Yeah, that makes sense.<\/p>\n
Best Comedy\/Musical \u2013 ‘Les Mis’. Whatever.<\/p>\n
Middle-aged George Clooney really does make young George Clooney look like garbage.<\/p>\n
Best Actress, Drama \u2013 Jessica Chastain. Mrs. Z says, “That dress is not working.”<\/p>\n
Best Actor, Drama \u2013 DDL, ‘Lincoln’. No shock there.<\/p>\n
Hey, it’s Julia Roberts.<\/p>\n
Here we go: Best Picture, Drama \u2013 ‘Argo’. Enjoy this moment, B.Aff. It’s your last of awards season this year.<\/p>\n
And look at that, it’s 11:00 and the credits are coming up. This is how you run an awards ceremony, people.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The past couple of years, I live-blogged the Golden Globes here in the blog. Unfortunately, while we had a lot of fun with that, I wasn’t able to do it again this year. I just have too much going on with my home remodel and moving right now. Also, I’ve been walloped by that flu…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":46131,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4634,370],"tags":[2993,1852,1851,1002],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46129"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=46129"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46129\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":89286,"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46129\/revisions\/89286"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/46131"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=46129"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=46129"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.highdefdigest.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=46129"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}