Yes, I know. We may be beating a dead bantha here with all the recent complaining about ‘Star Wars’. Nevertheless, with the new Blu-ray release imminent, what else could we pick for a Roundtable topic this week? Of all the stupid changes that George Lucas has made to the ‘Star Wars’ films, which one upsets you the most?
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M. Enois Duarte<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n The most annoying and frustrating change for me is the 1997 alteration in ‘Episode IV: A New Hope’. Obviously, I’m referring to the whole “Who shot first?” controversy between Han Solo and Greedo inside the Mos Eisley Cantina. This created quite a controversy back then. Lucas defends the change as something about giving younger viewers a better message, but seriously, that’s just lame. I don’t recall ever hearing kids complain that Han shooting Greedo first confused them in some way about the character or his eventual rise to heroism. In fact, it’s done more damage by making Han act in self-defense. Not only does the scene look awful and awkward due to digital manipulation, it completely removes, if not utterly ruins, the character’s anti-hero status and the moral ambiguity of the Western theme he’s meant to personify. Lucas can keep adding more starfighters to battle scenes so as to make them seem grander \u2013 that doesn’t matter as much to me. But that iconic Mos Eisley scene is the worst change, because it actually alters a viewer’s perception of one of the greatest and most cherished film characters ever created. Stupid, stupid, stupid!<\/p>\n Nate Boss<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n As much as I hate hearing Jar-Jar at the end of ‘Return of the Jedi’, as much as I loathe the “Jedi Rocks” musical number (including new characters Drumming Weequay Asshole, Scat-Master McCGI, and the various dancing hookers that make Boba Fett look like a bonafide pimp), as much as I hate Han’s digital slide in the Mos Eisley Cantina as Greedo fires and misses\u2026 the worst change (out of all ten thousand candidates) has to be Hayden Christiansen at the end of the saga. Let’s think about this: Qui-Gon Jinn screams in ‘Episode II’, and teaches Yoda how to become a force ghost in ‘Episode III’. By this time, the man known as Anakin Skywalker was no more, having succumbed to the Dark Side, becoming Darth NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! So how is it that he learned to be a ghost in the first place? <\/p>\n Sure, QGJ has appeared in the CGI ‘Clone Wars’ series as an apparition this last season, so eventually we may see him teach “the chosen one” a trick or two. But since when has the scroungy haired whiny bitch ever been good at keeping a secret? He spills the beans in words and actions. He’s as easy to read as a book. So, if this gets retconned (retroactive continuity) to make QGJ teach whiny bitch era Anakin this maneuver, why didn’t the galaxy’s biggest blabbermouth ever teach Ki-Adi Mundi, or Aayla Secura? What about Mace Windu? Yarael Poof? Even Piell? Ahsoka Tano? Weird dude with no legs who can’t logistically fight worth a shit? Plo Koon? Kit Fisto? Yaddle? Why don’t we just have every fucking Jedi in history show up in the end, to confuse Luke further? It would make about as much sense.<\/p>\n Sebastian Shaw never made sense in the scene in the first place, but it showed that the man still aged. It stopped all this bullshit about the man literally ceasing to be, a line from the first film that has turned from an analogy to a literal statement. No matter what, the Power of the Force (and prior to that, baggied mail-in) figure from 1983 era ‘Star Wars’ action figures is the true Anakin Skywalker, circa ‘Return of the Jedi’. If he isn’t, then what use is that figure? Is he going to be changed to some creepy old molester Jedi? Will his eyebrows sue Lucas for their royalties, since they were scorched off in the last set of changes? Is his family mad that now his character has the galaxy’s biggest codpiece because his other lightsaber was burnt off? <\/p>\n