The Trailer Park: The Ruin of Childhood Dreams

This week’s batch of upcoming movie trailers feature sequels, remakes and adaptations of material ripped directly from our childhoods.

‘Transformers: Age of Extinction’

Ha ha. Stupid girl thinks the rusty truck is a piece of junk. Wait until dad discovers some artillery shells and runs some juice through it. This longer trailer for the fourth installment in the ‘Transformers’ franchise has surprisingly sparked my interest – a very small, minuscule interest, but an interest nonetheless. That’s mostly due to glimpses of the Dinobots. Also, the action looks decent. I’m sure this will probably be the same unintelligible mess as the previous three movies, but if word of mouth and reviews are generally favorable, I might give this a shot in theaters if not on the eventual Blu-ray.

‘Annie’ (2014)

Little Quvenzhané Wallis made such a wonderful impression in ‘Beasts of the Southern Wild’ that I’m glad to see her in bigger, high-profile roles. However, why do we need another ‘Annie’ remake? The original film is perfectly fine, and the made-for-television version was awful. As much as I’m sure Wallis will do great as the eponymous character, I don’t know that I want to see this contemporary reimaging, and the preview does absolutely nothing to generate any interest. Jamie Foxx and Rose Byrne appear to be on autopilot, and Cameron Diaz is horrendously annoying.

‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ (2014)

Sorry, but I just don’t get the hype surrounding the ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ franchise. I knew of the comic book series, but never really cared to read it. The afternoon cartoon series, which I admittedly did watch on occasion, turned the anthropomorphic characters into overnight celebrities and a merchandizing phenomenon. The first live action movie did nothing for me. So, needless to say, I’m pretty sure that I won’t watch this Michael Bay-stardized reboot, except maybe on Blu-ray just for curiosity’s sake.

‘Paddington’

Frankly, I’m in disbelief that this live-action movie was made at all. Nevertheless, here it is just for fun and because I’m surprised that we have an upcoming Paddington Bear flick.

For more of the latest movie trailers, check out our trailers page.

5 comments

  1. NJScorpio

    As a child of the 80s, I had Transformers toys, but never cared about the cartoon. Same thing with G.I. Joe, but to even a lesser extent. So I didn’t get excited about those movies. I actually very much disliked what Bay did with the Transformer design, making them look like metallic spaghetti monsters with googly eyes.

    I WAS a huge T.M.N.T. fan…and a fan of Bay’s non-CGI movies (Bad Boys II, Pain & Gain)…so I’m pretty excited about this film. It actually looks somewhere between tolerable and really fun (to me).

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