It’s a dilemma that many movie collectors have faced. While it may seem like an innocent request, the ramifications can trigger much unneeded and unwanted anxiety. When friends or family members ask to borrow a movie from your collection, do you let them have it?
This probably shouldn’t be such a big deal. What kind of a jerk wouldn’t lend a friend or loved one a DVD or Blu-ray, right? The problem is that movie collectors tend to have a bit of OCD. We like to keep our stuff organized and know where it is at all times. Most of us have also experienced that dreaded scenario where some deadbeat friend never returns a borrowed flick, thus depriving us of it forever. That sort of thing is just unacceptable to some of us.
I rarely lend movies out. When I do, I need to know exactly when they’re coming back. Honestly, it even makes me a little twitchy that Mrs. Z recently took a TV box set off my shelf and brought it out to the living room. (Sorry, hon!) The thing hasn’t even left the apartment. I know right where it is, yet I feel a strong urge to put it back on the shelf where it belongs.
Do you have these problems?
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Alex
When I was in college, I used to lend movies out frequently (I had the best collection in my apartment complex). At the end of the year, though, I must have spent two days going around to everyone I knew saying “Do you have any of my movies.” After that, I hung a small whiteboard next to my DVD shelf with a very strict check-out policy. Anyone could borrow a disc anytime they wanted, but it needed to be signed out. I really don’t mind people borrowing my movies, but I *need* to know where they are.
Oh, and they better not let their kids scratch them up.
HuskerGuy
I’m somewhere between the “Sure” and “Rarely” answers, but went with rarely. My issue is in-laws who leech off of me to get their movie viewing and ask to borrow new releases days after I pick them up. It’s like I’m their free video rental store or something.
I finally put a movie catalogue app on my phone so now I know exactly what I have and which movies have been loaned out.
Also, there are some discs/sets that will never leave my house.
EM
Was “let them have it” meant to be ambiguous? 😀
For whatever reason, I seldom get asked. When I do, it’s usually in the context that I’m taking the movie to a gathering, then taking it with me when I leave.
I do occasionally offer to lend a movie. But you can believe that I calculate a strong likelihood of return before I make such an offer. And I consider other factors, like the item’s ease of replaceability.
August Lehe
I don’t lend out movies, however, I sometimes send my kid brother the DVD copy in hopes his two-year-old daughter won’t scratch it beyond all hope. He plans to get a Blu Ray machine this year.
William Henley
I have no issues in lending out movies when I know who has them. DVD Profiler has a great Check-Out system. Now I do have one movie lent out that has been out for about 9 months that I am starting to doubt I will get back, but as its The Passion of the Christ, if they are still watching it, I will let them have it. Movies like that and Veggietales and stuff I am not much of a stickler about – I have them to lend out to people to share a message. However, I got a friend who has had my copy of Lolita since August, and I am about to go postal on him (that is, he better mail that movie back if he doesn’t plan on coming to visit soon!)
javier
I am way too anal about my collection. I haven’t even shown my wife how to turn on the system in our main theater room. I have to set it up when she wants to use it. I usually convince her to watch in the loving room and ihave my four year old handling disks like a champ. If I do get asked to borrow a movie I usually just give it to them and buy a fresh new copy because it kills me when I get it back and it has a scratch. I admit I have a problem
Shayne Blakeley
I don’t get asked as often as you would think. Most of the time if someone has borrowed a movie of mine it’s because I insisted they borrow it.
William Henley
I have to agree with that as well. I only have a few friends who even have Blu-Ray, only one who has Laserdisc and HD-DVD, and I have gotten rid of the majority of my DVDs. Those whom I lend stuff to, I am normally the one who suggests it. I am thinking that the only movie anyone has ever asked ME to borrow was Avatar, that was my pastor, and he returned it in a a week. I also got a brief message about where my priorities were, but as I admit they are kinda in the wrong place, he was like, well, as long as you know, now can I borrow something else?
I probably have more movies than anyone I know except for my uncle, and, according to some previous discussions here on the blog, I have probably the least amount of movies of anyone who reads this site.
Mike Attebery
Nope. Too many discs never got returned. Or in the worst case scenarios, there were house fires (yes, two) and the discs were lost forever! No more. Buy or rent your own movie, bub.
Steve
I used to be more liberal about loaning titles out. Until my complete Deadwood DVD set went missing, and no one will ‘fess up to having borrowed it. Grrrrr….
On the positive side, I can upgrade it to blu next time there’s a good HBO store sale.
JM
I only lend dvds to Monica, and only if I own the blu-ray.
Stacey Nash
I used to lend out movies all the time. However, all too often, I had to track them down because they weren’t coming back. I even lost a few because I couldn’t remember for the life of me who I lent them to! Now, (especially with my Blu Rays), I only lend them out to very close friends and family that I trust, and they have to have them back to me undamaged by a certain time. They are aware that if they follow these simple rules, they can continue to borrow. I have since had no issues. Oh yeah, a few NEVER leave my hands – like my Star Wars box set on Blu!!!
Mike
People don’t ask to borrow anything from my collection very often. And that’s just fine with me. I’ve had too many experiences in the past where someone would ask to borrow a movie, then three weeks later still hadn’t watched it. The way I look at it, if you want to borrow a movie, treat it as if you were renting from a store with a 5-day rental policy. Give or take. Point being, borrow something when you want/have time to watch it. Don’t make me feel like the a-hole by having to ask for it back a month later. If you still haven’t watched it by then, you’re not going to.
Ryan
My wife lent Enchanted to one of her bosses. That was in May. Still haven’t seen it, and the last I heard, he hadn’t even watched it. This was exactly the reason I was so restrictive about loaning out anything in the collection. Now, I don’t lend out anything.
EM
Did your wife at least get a promotion or a bonus?
Vince Duggan
I only have one friend who’s into Blu-ray, and he’s cool; I’ve lent DVDs to my boss and other coworkers whom I trust (and who fear my wrath). It’s usually only a single disc, or one I have on Blu. (Criterions never leave the house, however.)
Nate "the boss" Boss
i have a select group i lend to. if someone “forgets” they have something and i have to ask them to return it, they’re out. if someone brings me back finger smudged shit, they’re out. i don’t loan to family, as they think they can do as they please, free of consequence, so fuck them.
if i convert someone to blu, i will usually lend out a few doozies to them, early, and then expect them to pick up their own slack. expensive discs do not leave my sight. i mean, like, japanese imports, out of print goodies, shit like that.
my rule of thumb: if someone asks to borrow, the answer is no, since i don’t need no beggars up in my shit thinking i have to do shit for them. if someone seems interested in something, but doesn’t ask, then the answer is yes.
William Henley
Oh, gosh, I forgot about family. I mailed my brother’s back to him that I have had for a year (he insisted I borrow a few, stuff I never had any intention of watching, so when I found them when I was packing, they got mailed back). Sadly, the movies I have lent him I haven’t gotten back yet. The last time I went to visit him and my parents, December of 2010, I stayed for a few weeks, and so I packed up my entire movie colleciton. My parents borrowed about 10 movies. I haven’t seen them since. My mom complained it was because they only had one Blu-Ray player, and my dad was usually watching TV in there, so this last Christmas, I bought them another Blu-Ray player and a few weeks ago, bought them another HDTV (my mom was using a 20 year old TV/VCR combo). She says that she has now started watching the movies. Hopefully I will have them back in a couple of months.
I guess I can’t really complain too much – half of those movies were stuff she bought me for Christmas and birthdays anyways.
besch64
You forgot to make this an option:
“Rarely. I only lend movies to pretty girls.”
Jacob
Sure I do. But I keep a list of what people have borrowed, so things getting lost is not an issue.
In the plus column, I mostly lend my Blu-rays to other collectors, meaning that I get to borrow some of the Criterions I can’t afford, or some of the stoopid flicks I can’t be bothered to pay for but want to watch, anyway (most summer blockbusters qualify)
paramedic0112
I rarely lend anything out. If I say no, I look like an asshole. However, if they ask for something and I don’t want to loan it, I’ll suggest something else. I can usually get the disc back if I do. I am more worried about damage to the disc and box/case/slipcover. I’m sure people think I’m OCD, but I don’t like my shit getting slimed. Most people just don’t have respect or consideration for these things. They will leave your discs laying around out of the case, get food or whatever else all over the case. I only lend out certain things. No box sets or criterions ever!