‘Game of Thrones’ 5.03 Recap: “The Sweetest King Who Ever Lived”

‘Game of Thrones’ has so many characters that, even three episodes into the new season, we’re still catching up with some we haven’t seen in a while. In most respects, a lot of little things happen in this week’s episode, but few big things do.

Braavos

Arya is currently in the “Wax on, wax off” stage of her apprenticeship to the House of Black and White. She has spent days sweeping and resweeping the floors of the dark and damp temple, growing impatient that no one has started training her to become a shape-shifting assassin yet. A man drinks from a water fountain and dies, and Arya must scrub his body as part of a ritual that no one will explain to her.

Her friend Jaqen (if he’s really Jaqen, which I’m not clear about) talks a bit about the “Many-Faced God” and the “Game of Faces,” and suggests that Arya hasn’t yet fully let go of her old life, which is a big prerequisite to Becoming No One, whatever that means. Arya gathers up all of her possessions, including the coin the Jaqen gave her, and tosses them in the ocean. However, she can’t bring herself to let go of her sword Needle. She hides that one by burying it under some rocks at the shore.

King’s Landing

It’s time for a royal wedding. This one is a lower key affair, and goes a lot smoother than the last one. The masses in the city shout their adoration for “Queen Margaery,” and apparently aren’t bothered by the fact that she’s become queen by marrying the brother of her last husband who was just murdered. For that matter, the fact that she ever married Joffrey in the first place should make people seriously question her taste in men. For his part, new King Tommen is super psyched about being able to have sex, though apparently he’s a bit of a quick draw in bed.

Naturally, Cersei is unhappy about everything. That’s nothing new, but she’s especially miserable now. She and Margaery have a wonderfully passive-aggressive meeting about what Cersei’s new role in the kingdom will be (i.e. nothing). Margaery connives to convince Tommen to send his mother away to Casterly Rock, but Cersei isn’t having any of it.

A cult of religious extremists called the Sparrows, of which Cersei’s cousin Lancel is a new convert, raid Baelish’s brothel and publicly shame the High Septon (basically, Westeros’ version of a Pope) as a pervert and a sinner. The Septon is furious afterwards and demands that the Small Council purge this cult from the city.

Cersei visits the slums of the city to find the group’s leader, called the High Sparrow (Jonathan Pryce), ministering to the poor. He expects that she’s come to threaten him, but in fact Cersei likes him quite a bit. She informs him that she agrees that the High Septon is an embarrassment and has had him thrown in a dungeon. That’s all we see of the High Sparrow this time, but given that he’s played by a notable actor and that the episode is titled after the character, I expect that he’ll play a much bigger role later.

Before we leave her, Cersei stops by to see her mad scientist Qyburn, ostensibly to have him send a message by raven to Littlefinger. It seems like she’d have someone more appropriate who could do that for her, but I guess the point is to show us that Qyburn is still working on the half-dead Mountain, who stirs beneath a sheet.

Winterfell

Been wondering what’s going on with Theon Greyjoy? Me neither, but I suppose he’s still an important character in play. As “Reek,” he’s still subservient to the crazy Ramsay Bolton (née Ramsay Snow). He doesn’t have a lot to do, but we see him wandering around, being disgusted at the flayed bodies strewn around the castle as part of Ramsay’s terror campaign to keep the northern kingdoms obedient to the Boltons’ rule.

His father Roose Bolton chastises Ramsay for his actions. He explains to his recently-legitimized son that Tywin Lannister’s death means bad news for them, because no one else in the Lannister family is likely to honor the pact with the Boltons. Without the backing of the Lannister army, the Boltons will not be able to hold the North should the kingdoms there rebel. As such, it’s a really bad idea to piss off those kingdoms. The best way to forge an alliance is by marriage, not by fear. With that in mind, Roose has plans that his son won’t like.

Remember Baelish telling Sansa that he had received correspondence about his marriage proposal being accepted? We (and Sansa) assumed that Baelish was arranging another political marriage for himself. Oh, how naïve we were. Instead, he’s marrying Sansa off to Ramsay. That poor, poor girl…

Sansa is of course horrified at being forced to marry into the family of the man (Roose Bolton) who murdered her brother. She doesn’t know the half of it. Because Ramsay was a bastard until recently, he’d flown under Baelish’s radar. Neither he nor Sansa have any idea what a degenerate Ramsay is. Baelish, however, manages to talk Sansa into going through with the marriage.

As Sansa arrives at the castle, Ramsay is on his best behavior and acts the perfect gentleman. When Theon spots Sansa (remember, they grew up together), he hides his face so she won’t recognize him.

When the message that Cersei sent to Baelish arrives, Roose is no longer sure that he can trust the man.

Outside the castle, Brienne and Podrick keep their distance while continuing to monitor Sansa. The two share a nice moment as they swap stories about Tyrion and Renly. So that he’s not quite so useless, Brienne agrees to teach Podrick how to fight.

Castle Black

Jon Snow officially declines Stannis’ offer to be made a legitimate Stark. His loyalties are with the Night’s Watch. Stannis makes arrangements for his army to leave within a fortnight. He will leave the Wildlings in Snow’s hands.

Stannis’ right hand man, Ser Davos the Onion Knight, advises Snow that he would be wise to do something about the Boltons before they become an even bigger problem.

For his first responsibility as new Lord Commander, Jon Snow must assign someone to dig a new latrine pit. He resists an opportunity to humiliate Ser Alliser with such a menial task, and instead gives him the honor of being named First Ranger to demonstrate that his leadership will be based on merit and that he doesn’t hold grudges.

Not everyone is happy with the new change in command, however. Ser Janos, the cowardly knight who hid in the closet during the Wildling siege, refuses an order to be shipped off to a distant castle. For his insubordination, Snow has him dragged out into the courtyard and his head put on a chopping block. Like the pansy he is, Janos begs for his life and pleads for mercy, admitting that he’s a coward. Snow raises his sword and beheads him on the spot – a nice callback to the lesson he learned from his father in the show’s pilot episode.

The Free Cities

Tyrion and Varys arrive in the distant city of Volantis, a wild and unruly place. Stir crazy from hiding out in their carriage for so long, Tyrion demands to be let out to stretch his legs, against Varys’ advice. Tyrion insists that he can remain incognito, and that no one so far from King’s Landing would care who he is anyway.

They pass through a slave market, where Tyrion observes a Red Priestess evangelizing about the Dragon Queen. Tyrion takes an interest in her sermon, but is spooked off when she halts and stares at him. She seems like she might be an important character, so we’ll probably see her again.

Of course, Tyrion heads straight for a brothel, where he spots a whore dressing up as Daenerys Targaryen. She seems to be the hit of the establishment, but Tyrion is drawn to a different whore who might suit his fancy. However, he suddenly loses the will to follow through, no doubt overcome with grief over what he did to Shae.

As Tyrion wanders out to take a piss, who should spot him but the disgraced Jorah Mormont. Outside Varys’ sight, Jorah grabs Tyrion and says that he’s taking him to the Queen (no doubt meaning Daenerys, not Cersei or Margaery).

I can see some fans being impatient with this episode, since it still feels like we’re stuck in the set-up phase of the season when we should be moving along a little quicker by now. I can understand that attitude, but I’m still engrossed enough in the story and the world this show has created that I’m willing to cut it a lot of slack.

Of the latest developments, I think I’m most curious to find out what will happen to Sansa next, and that’s quite a surprise for one of the show’s perennially least interesting characters.

On the other hand, I found myself distracted by Jonathan Pryce as the High Sparrow. Although he’s certainly a good actor, he seems a little too obviously stunt-cast to disappear into his role. Maybe that’s just baggage I bring to the actor due to my fondness for him in movies like ‘Brazil’.

17 comments

  1. This was an exciting episode! If the setup episodes are this good I can’t imagine what’s in store later on.
    Am I the only one slightly disturbed by the post-sex scene with Tommen and Margaery? Maybe its because he looks around 14 and I know she is much older.

    • Timcharger

      Yeah, it’s is disturbing for our times.
      Definitely if the gender ages were reversed, it would
      be more shocking. But given that GoT’s average life
      expectancy is 30, so 15 is pretty much middle aged.

      Looks like the real actor ages are 16 and 33. If it
      was an actual marriage, yes, that’s disturbing. But
      I’m sure there’s was a long line at the casting call
      for 16 year old actors to be in that scene with a 33
      year old Natalie Dormer.

  2. Timcharger

    Josh: “However, she can’t bring herself to let go of her sword Needle. She hides that one by burying it under some rocks at the shore.”

    Yeah, for a few seasons now, Arya has been
    reciting her kill list while practicing with
    Needle. I was glad she didn’t chuck her
    sword. It was gift from her father. And it’s
    a huge symbol to how different she is.
    She’s not weaving like her sister Sansa;
    she’s sword-fighting.

    And speaking of Arya learning to use
    Needle, she’s in Braavos. And her teacher
    was Syrio Forel of Braavos. He as the 1st
    Sword of Braavos, whatever that means.
    I’m thinking that Arya should seek out the
    Forel family in Braavos. Did Syrio make it
    out of King’s Landing alive? Or maybe
    Arya should complete her training from
    Syrio’s master, Yoda. At the Degobah
    compound of House Forel.

    I’m just saying she knows another contact
    in Braavos other than Jaqen H’ghar.

  3. Timcharger

    Josh: “The masses in the city shout their adoration for “Queen Margaery,” and apparently aren’t bothered by the fact that she’s become queen by marrying the brother of her last husband who was just murdered.”

    The masses were fed by the Tyrell family.
    They hated Joffrey, too. It makes sense that
    the masses like Margaery.

    Margaery was already doing the kind acts
    towards the poor that the religious
    Sparrows are doing now.

  4. Timcharger

    Josh: “For his part, new King Tommen is super psyched about being able to have sex, though apparently he’s a bit of a quick draw in bed.”

    I don’t dispute that Tommen probably
    didn’t knock Margaery’s socks off. But the
    scene played out to me, like Margaery was
    tired of the repetitive need of the teenager
    instead of his draw speed. I could be wrong.

  5. Timcharger

    Josh: “She and Margaery have a wonderfully passive-aggressive meeting about what Cersei’s new role in the kingdom will be (i.e. nothing).”

    Yeah, what a great scene. I don’t buy
    Cersei being humbled. Margaery is a
    gazelle, and Cersei is a lioness hiding
    in the tall grass.

    That look and exchange Cersei and
    Margaery had, we guys will never
    fully understand that. Maybe only
    some wives and their mother-in-laws
    can fully comprehend the dread, the
    fear of that scene.

  6. Timcharger

    Josh, you titled the section: “Moat Cailin.”
    It really should be Winterfell.

    Speaking of that, the opening credits with
    the Bolton sigil on Winterfell, that’s so
    effective. Every time I see that at the
    episode’s beginning, I mutter a curse at
    the Boltons.

    I can’t decide who I despise more Roose
    or Ramsay.

    • Josh Zyber
      Author

      It’s been nearly a year since I watched this episode, but I don’t believe that’s correct. Winterfell was gutted and abandoned in the Season 2 finale. When Theon was kidnapped, he was brought to Ramsay. In Season 4, Theon (as Reek) helped Ramsay take Moat Cailin for Ramsay’s father, Lord Bolton. As I recall, the Boltons are still operating out of Moat Cailin in Season 5.

      • Timcharger

        When Baelish brings Sansa to the Boltons,
        they do pass through Moat Cailin. It’s on the road to
        Winterfell. Sansa recognizes Moat Cailin because she
        passed through it when she left Winterfell. But they
        were just passing through. And Brienne and Podrick
        follows Baelish and Sansa, but they go around Moat
        Cailin. Brienne says she knows where they are going.
        Winterfell is where the Boltons are now.

        Josh you mentioned that “Winterfell was gutted,” and
        most of the scene with Baelish speaking with Ramsay
        and later to Roose, they walk through various repairs
        and construction on Winterfell. Winterfell is being
        rebuilt by the Boltons. It’s their seat of power as the
        Warden of the North. Plus it is more defensible from
        the threat of Stannis’ army.

  7. Timcharger

    Josh: “Outside the castle, Brienne and Podrick keep their distance while continuing to monitor Sansa. The two share a nice moment as they swap stories about Tyrion and Renly. So that he’s not quite so useless, Brienne agrees to teach Podrick how to fight.”

    This Podrick character really is growing on me.
    Is he going to be play a bigger role this
    Westeros saga? These writers of GoT; they’re
    f*cking with us here, right? They are making
    Podrick endearing right before his gruesome
    death, right? Right? (Rhetorical)

  8. Timcharger

    Josh: “Snow raises his sword and beheads him on the spot – a nice callback to the lesson he learned from his father in the show’s pilot episode.”

    Great, great scene. What a callback, way
    back to episode 1. This is just another
    example of why GoT is so good.

  9. Timcharger

    Josh: “They pass through a slave market, where Tyrion observes a Red Priestess evangelizing about the Dragon Queen.”

    This is a curious development. The other Red
    Priestess we know is Melisandre. And she is
    promoting Stannis. Constantly talking about
    Stannis as the true king of Westeros. Now
    there’s another Red Priestess promoting
    Stannis’ rival, Daenerys?! Hmmm…

    Well if she’s a repeating character in the
    series, I’m going to look forward to seeing as
    much of her as we do of Melisandre. And
    Melisandre shows a lot.

  10. Timcharger

    Josh: “As Tyrion wanders out to take a piss, who should spot him but the disgraced Jorah Mormont. Outside Varys’ sight, Jorah grabs Tyrion and says that he’s taking him to the Queen (no doubt meaning Daenerys, not Cersei or Margaery).”

    When Jorah Mormont was sent into exile, I was
    looking forward to how he would make his
    return. Jorah was crucial to where Daenerys
    is today. But now, I’m not so interested in his
    part of the tale. Kind of moved on, with the
    other characters.

    So far, we know that Jorah is just hanging
    around brothels in Volantis, and runs into
    Tyrion from mere luck. Not much of tale. It’s
    early; maybe Jorah’s story will fans back?

  11. Timcharger

    Josh: “However, he suddenly loses the will to follow through, no doubt overcome with grief over what he did to Shae.”

    This might be a rather big development for Tyrion.
    Boozing and whoring was Tyrion’s calling card.
    Much of the grief between Tywin and Tyrion was
    Tywin’s manipulation of Tyrion’s whores. If
    Tyrion can give up this vice of his, it might mean
    some kind of growth. I don’t know. Then again,
    the Westeros culture may have visiting a brothel,
    a healthy part of a balanced life.

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