‘American Horror Story’ 3.03 Recap: “Don’t Test My Wrath”

After everything we’ve already seen on the show, what new forms of deranged depravity can the latest episode of ‘American Horror Story’ reveal to surprise and shock us? How about a little incest and bestiality? Yup, that’d do it.

Episode ‘The Replacements’ opens with a flashback to 1971, where young Fiona (Riley Voelkel from ‘The Newsroom’) murders her coven’s Supreme in order to take over the position. In the present day, old Fiona visits a plastic surgeon for a consult about having a facelift. Unfortunately, her blood work comes back with bad news that will prevent her from being a candidate for any elective surgery.

Feeling guilty about Kyle and everything that’s happened to him, Zoe pays a visit to his mother Alicia (Mare Winningham). The woman is a crackhead and not in good shape at all. She tells Zoe that she’d been contemplating suicide at the very moment the girl called.

Zoe next returns to Misty’s cabin to check on Kyle. Although he’s healing and doing much better, he’s still non-verbal. Misty has clearly grown attached to him and doesn’t want to let go, but Zoe insists that she needs to take him back home, hoping that this will be good for both Kyle and his mother. Needless to say, this isn’t a very good idea.

Zoe drops Kyle off on his doorstep, rings the doorbell, and runs away. Alicia is both shocked and elated to see him again. Over the next couple of days, Kyle remains non-communicative. His mother intrudes on him in the shower, takes a good look, and tells him that she knows his body is not his own. However, this doesn’t stop her from giving him a handjob, because nobody knows how to make Kyle feel better than his mama. Eww. Seriously, eww.

Naturally, none of this ends well. When Alicia tries to seduce her son again later, he goes ballistic and smashes her head to a pulp with a trophy from the mantle. Zoe arrives to find the corpse.

At the school, Madame LaLaurie (Kathy Bates) catches up on current events by watching some television. She’s very dismayed to learn that the country has a black President. Fiona forces her to put on a uniform and become the academy’s new maid. More than that, after LaLaurie unleashes her racism again later, Fiona orders her to be Queenie’s personal slave. Queenie takes great delight in this.

That night, as Queenie commands LaLaurie to make her a snack in the kitchen, the minotaur monster comes banging around on the doors and windows. A terrified LaLaurie tells Queenie her real identity, and explains that the minotaur was a slave named Sebastian that she’d tortured. For some reason, Queenie thinks it’s a good idea to go outside, lure the minotaur to a shed, and try to seduce the bull-headed creature by masturbating in front of it. Because, sure, why not? The scene ends with the suggestion that the minotaur attacks her, but I’m certain that this isn’t the last we’ll see of Queenie.

In a related side story, Cordelia’s doctor informs her that her attempts to conceive are hopeless. Apparently, even that dirty magic sex she had in the previous episode had no effect. She’s barren. In desperation, Cordelia visits Marie Laveau (Angela Bassett), offering to pay for a voodoo fertility ritual. After explaining the dangers of the ritual, which involves lots of boiled semen, hot peppers and fresh goat’s blood, Laveau laughs in Cordelia’s face. She refuses to do anything to help the spawn of Fiona Goode, no matter how much money is involved.

Meanwhile, the school has new neighbors, including a studly boy that Madison (Emma Roberts) gets all hot and bothered about. As she pays a visit next door to basically throw herself at him, the boy’s nutbag religious mother (Broadway star Patti LuPone) interrupts and voices her disapproval. Madison expresses her indifference to the mother’s strict religious beliefs by using her powers to spontaneously set their house on fire.

When Fiona hears about this, she recognizes that Madison is starting to exhibit the powers of a new potential Supreme. As a result, she starts mentoring the girl, and tells her about the misdeeds of her own youth. She also reveals that she has cancer. Fiona claims that this is Madison’s fault, because the new Supreme drains the life force of the old one. However, she insists that she’s come to terms with this. “I’ve led a disreputable life, but I’ve done it in style.”

In fact, Fiona tries to hand Madison a knife and begs the girl to kill her. She says that her time is over and Madison must take her power while she still has some. Madison is confused and reluctant. She doesn’t want to kill Fiona. As Fiona becomes more animated, she fumbles with the knife and accidentally slashes Madison’s throat, killing her on the spot.

Except that it wasn’t really an accident, was it? As Madison bleeds out on the floor, Fiona coolly instructs the school’s creepy butler to dispose of the body.

Is Madison really done for, or will Zoe try to resurrect her, as she did Kyle? Or has Zoe learned her lesson about defying death?

I could probably do without the incest storyline, but all in all, this is another really fun episode. I’m still loving this season of the show.


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