Today’s new movie releases bring us one step closer to summer. We get a mindless big-budget 3D action blockbuster, a cheesy teen genre flick and – of course – another Tyler Perry movie.
Originally due out last summer, the sequel that no one asked for, ‘G.I. Joe: Retaliation‘, has finally opened. The studio claims to have delayed the release to give it a proper 3D conversion, but whisperings claim other things – like expanding the returning role of Channing Tatum, who starred in several box office smashes last year. Marlon Wayans, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and the majority of the cast from ‘The Rise of the Cobra‘ do not return, so that The Rock and Bruce Willis can take over the show.
Had ‘Twilight‘ author Stephenie Meyer not written the book that ‘The Host‘ is based on, I imagine that the “body snatchers” sci-fi movie would go the way of this year’s similar teen genre flick ‘Beautiful Creatures’. But with “From the author of the Twilight Saga” slapped all over it, teenage girls, sappy hopeless romantics and Meyer fanatics around the globe will likely flock out in herds to see it. The only hope lies in occasionally-good writer/director Andrew Niccol (‘The Truman Show‘ and ‘Gattaca‘). But I’m not holding my breath after Niccol’s lame ‘In Time‘.
I’ve never seen a Tyler Perry film because they have yet to be screened in my region, and I’m not inclined to start now with ‘Tyler Perry’s Temptation‘. This one co-stars a talentless Kardashian. [Ed.: Is there any other kind of Kardashian? -JZ] The plot of ‘Temptation’ involves seduction, scandal and mischievousness – all great things to see on screen – but I sure as hell will never support one of those freeloading Kardashians.
‘Blue Valentine’ director Derek Cianfrance and Ryan Gosling have reteamed for ‘The Place Beyond the Pines‘. I envy anyone fortunate enough to live around one of the four screens that’s playing the movie this weekend. A motorcycle stunt driver (Gosling) decides to knock off a bank in order to make ends meet for his young family, but an up-and-coming rookie cop (Bradley Cooper) isn’t having it. Rose Byrne and Eva Mendes play the female co-stars.
James McAvoy and Mark Strong shoot stuff up in the new indie action thriller ‘Welcome to the Punch‘. Strong plays an ex-con who gets forced back into the heist business when his son makes a big mistake. Sensing the handiwork of “the one that got away,” a goatee-donning McAvoy tries to finally catch his big fish.