escape-earth-thumb

Weekend Movies: Valentines for Everyone

After weeks of mild movie releases, this Valentine’s weekend finally offers a variety of films for just about any audience.

For the testosterone-driven, action-hungry viewers out there, there’s ‘A Good Day to Die Hard‘, the fifth flick in Bruce Willis’ ‘Die Hard‘ franchise. This time, John McClane takes his smirks and quips to the Russian Motherland. ‘Live Free or Die Hard‘ gave McClane redemption with his estranged daughter (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), who also makes a brief appearance here. This time, McClane has to wipe the slate clean with his similarly estranged son. When McClane goes to bail out his son (Jai Courtney from ‘Jack Reacher’) from a Moscow prison, he becomes entangled in a plot that he can only escape by punching, shooting and crashing his way out of. Don’t expect greatness from ‘A Good Day’, just mindless franchise fun.

For the love-hungry and sappy romantics, yet another formulaic Nicholas Sparks adaptation hits the silver screen. ‘Safe Haven‘ stars unwatchables Julianne Hough and Josh Duhamel. She plays a mysterious fragile woman damaged by a history of abuse; he plays the gentle widower trying to teach her how to live and love again. Let me guess, the abusive old flame shows up, stirs up the past and dies due to a tragedy of his own causing (because death is the reoccurring character in all of Sparks’ works).

For those left with a void in their hearts where ‘Twilight‘ used to reside, here comes the next teen genre franchise trying to take over that empty spot: ‘Beautiful Creatures‘. Looking exactly like the CW series ‘Vampire Diaries‘, the film follows young eye-candy characters as they learn about the secrets hidden in their small Southern town. I can only imagine how much teenage angst ensues.

For anyone complaining about the lack of kid-friendly movies, we have ‘Escape from Planet Earth‘, the Weinsteins’ latest attempt to crack the family market. Unfortunately, their last big efforts in this regard were the ass-sucking ‘Hoodwinked‘ movies. The excessive marketing makes this one look like a mix of ‘Hoodwinked’ and the also-crappy alien flick ‘Planet 51‘. Good luck with that.

Expanding to an unannounced number of theaters is Roman Coppola’s ‘A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III‘. If you happen to catch it this weekend, let us know what you think in the Comments.

6 comments

  1. Drew

    Luke,

    Why are you not posting film reviews in the bonus view, any longer. The other reviewer was never formally introduced as the new bonus view movie critic. Are you just not seeing as many films, these days. I feel that your reviews are quite a bit better and more coherent than those posted by the other reviewer. Is this just a temporary thing, or will you no longer be posting your reviews on the bonus view?

    • Bryan was introduced with his review of Gangster Squad. Luke has another job and a family occupying his time. He is welcome to post more theatrical reviews here if he can fit them in his schedule.

  2. Drew

    Okay. It’s too bad. I really don’t feel like Bryan’s reviews are professional. It’s as if I’m reading a write-up from random twitter/Facebook post, when I read his reviews. I tried to give them a chance, but they’re all pretty much the same. They feel like a high school kid wrote them. Oh well, it’s not like I’m forced to read reviews, on the bonus view. I’ll just read the ones from my other trusted sources.

  3. Atki

    So Luke, you have not seen “Escape from PLanet Earth” but your comments lead one to believe that it will suck. What happened to the old adage “if you cannot say anything good then don’t say anything at all”? I have talked to a few people who saw an advance preview showing and they like it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Connect with Facebook

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>