Bruce Willis says that he wants to do at least one more ‘Die Hard’ movie after this week’s ‘A Good Day to Die Hard’. Given the franchise’s history of making puns out of its titles, we thought that we’d use today’s Roundtable to offer up suggestions for what the sixth movie should be called.
I set one ground rule when I forwarded this topic to our staff. ‘Old Habits Die Hard’ has already been tossed around extensively as a potential title for the next sequel. I took that one off the table. Anything else is fair game.
Daniel Hirshleifer
‘Twenty-Sided Die Hard‘
John McClane is hit on the head while watching ‘The Lord of the Rings’, and imagines himself in a ‘D&D’ fantasy land, that he of course has to save. It’s the ultimate fish out of water story! Also starring Felicia Day.
Luke Hickman
‘Born Alone, Die Hard Alone‘
John McClane once again finds himself in a seemingly impossible scenario. McClane is the king of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. After finally getting dishonorably discharged from the NYPD, McClane’s newsworthy rap sheet and celebrity status have landed him a decent job as head of security at the headquarters of a major international business in New York City. McClane gets in over his head when he notices something shady going on and puts his neck out there to stop it, only to get entangled in his most elaborate and difficult terrorist scheme yet. While fleeing the building in pursuit of the bad guys, two officers are killed and the video surveillance leads the NYPD to believe that McClane is behind the crime. It’s assumed that he wants revenge on the police force for firing him after saving the world several times. McClane must not only put an end to the terrorist plot entirely on his own, but must stay out of the sights of cops with itchy trigger fingers.
Shannon Nutt
Because it has been mentioned by fans and the studio alike (and ultimately nixed by 20th Century Fox), there’s really no need to mention ‘Die Hard 24×7’, which would team super-cop John McClane with super-spy Jack Bauer. Instead, I suggest another team-up between Bruce Willis and Dwayne Johnson (they’re already on-screen pals thanks to ‘G.I. Joe 2’) in… wait for it… ‘Between a Rock and a Die Hard Place‘. Can you smell what John McClane is cookin’?!
Aaron Peck
‘To Die or Not to Die (Hard)‘
John McClane joins a traveling Shakespearean acting troupe after retirement. All is going well, until the Renaissance fair they’re performing at is besieged by Shakespeare-hating Russians, hell-bent on wiping Shakespeare’s influence from the planet.
Tom Landy
How about ‘Energizer vs. Die Hard‘? John McClane takes on his most fearsome foe yet: a pink drum-playing bunny wearing sunglasses with the STAMINA OF A TERMINATOR! The tagline obviously would be: “Assault by Battery.”
Bryan Kluger
‘Surf Nazis Must Die Hard: Innnnnnn Spaaaaaaaace‘
It’s been several years since McClane’s unfortunate accident, which left him paralyzed from the waist down. However, due to new technology in the medical field, McClane now has robot legs and is itching to leave his desk job at the police office and head back into the field. Nevertheless, on his most triumphant return to the field, a new group of Neo-Nazis take control of the beaches of Galveston, TX and wreak havoc on the local tourists and citizens as they make their way to Houston, TX, specifically NASA’s headquarters. Their plan is to hijack a space shuttle and head for the secret government space station on the moon where they’ll take over Earth’s defense systems and missiles and create total annihilation on the population. McClane hates Nazis, and stows away secretly on the space shuttle with plans to take out the entire Neo-Nazi group singlehandedly.
Brian Hoss
‘Never Say Die Hard Again‘
Bruce Willis basically takes the series into geriatric territory. Essentially a confluence of the Willis character in ‘RED’ and John McClane, the film would find McClane grumbling about his grandkids’ life choices, deeply embroiled in the goings-on of his assisted living domicile. Naturally, he would wind up at explosive odds with a new generation of pro-Communist Cuban exiles, who are far too young to understand McClane’s ageless street smarts and hardy ability to always be the correct distance away from a massive explosion. In the balance would be Florida, known as “New Cuba” to the film’s villains. Yippee-ki-yay, Castro-ites.
Adam Tyner (DVDTalk)
‘Faster, Pussycat! Die Hard! Die Hard!‘
It’d just be Bruce Willis in a wifebeater and boxers chasing a cat around with a broom for 105 minutes.
M. Enois Duarte
‘It’s Do or Die Hard‘
Imagine if, after his fighting crime with his daughter and son, Holly Gennaro reappears in the life of our favorite cop. Returning back to basics, she’s on a business trip in the Middle East and caught in a terrorist situation where a group of no-good criminals hold the entire building hostage. The only man with the proper experience to rectify the situation is none other than our reluctant hero, John McClane.
Josh Zyber
Aside from the latest film (which is the first ‘Die Hard’ movie actually written with the specific intention of being a ‘Die Hard’ movie), previous entries in this franchise all started lives as other, unrelated projects. The original ‘Die Hard’ was originally developed as a sequel to a 1968 Frank Sinatra picture called ‘The Detective’. ‘Die Hard 2: Die Harder’ was based on the book ’58 Minutes’ by Walter Wager. ‘Die Hard with a Vengeance’ combined scripts for an unproduced ‘Lethal Weapon’ sequel and an original screenplay called ‘Simon Says’. Finally, ‘Live Free or Die Hard’ began as a cyber-terrorism thriller named ‘WW3.com’.
With that in mind, I nominate that the producers resurrect an unfinished project from one of our greatest filmmakers for the next one. As I mentioned in last week’s Roundtable, Robert Altman was working on pre-production of a film called ‘Hands on a Hard Body’ when he died. In ‘Hands on a Die Hard Body‘, terrorists have rigged a pickup truck with a nuclear bomb connected to a pressure sensor. The only way to stop it from detonating is for someone to keep his hands touching the truck at all times. Several cops hold on at first, but as the pickup races towards our nation’s capital at breakneck speed, most are picked off by the baddies one-by-one. Does John McClane have the stamina to hang on with one hand while punching, stabbing and shooting terrorists with the other? Can you say, “Yippee-ki-yay, mother trucker”?
Failing that, let’s just go with ‘Die Hardbodies‘, in which super-stud John McClane agrees to teach a group of schlubby middle-aged losers how to pick up chicks… chicks who turn out to be terrorists! Because, why not? The script’ll take all of ten minutes to write. In the course of this, McClane falls for a supermodel-hot young single mom and finally makes his famous catchphrase literal.
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Those are some of our goofy ideas. Tell us yours in the Comments.
EM
Christopher Nolan’s Die Hard Fledermaus
Movie Franchises Die Hard
…and They Called It Die Hard! You Just Saw Die Hard! It’s the End of Die Hard!
Josh Inman
Die Hardererest
Julian
Die Hard Die. It’s German for The Hard The.
Eric
Die Hard or Die Trying
Wurms
Die Hard One Last Time – not a bad title for the final one!
A Die Hard Goodbye – Mickey Rourke can be the villain.
Die Hard! Die Hard! Die Hard! – Michael Bay directs and it has so much action audiences hearts explode watching it.
I Die Hard For You – Valentines movie
If You Stop, You Die Hard – Can have Jason Statham from Crank co-star.
1000 Ways to Die Hard – Bloodiest movie ever!
John
Die Hardest!!!!!!!!!!
Eric
Die Hard of Hearing-
At McClain’s age and having survived countless firefights and explosions, his hearing has diminished, so he needs someone to sign for him throughout the movie. Yippie-Kai-yeah in a close up hand gesture with subtitles would be the signature moment of the film.
Chris McCullah
Die Hardly at All
Robert Chase
Can I Die Hard Now
Trebor Edirbcm
Die Hard and Leave A Beautiful Corpse
Trebor Edirbcm
This Franchise Will Die Hard: The Quest For More Money
RedDev78
Another way to die hard.
Die hard as a rock.
Jak Donark
Hmm, already a few of mine up there… Great minds think alike.
Okay about Die Hard To Kill. John McClane teams up with Steven Segal.
Live For Nothing, Or Die Hard For Something. John McClane teams up with Rambo.
Die Hard with Fries and a Coke. Terrorists seize control of a McDonald’s and McClane, just having his morning coffee and reading the paper, is the only one who can stop them.
By the way, who else realized that Theo ( and the young terrorist McClane knocks out at the end) are the only two that survive the first Die Hard? I think Theo would have been perfect as the bad guy in Die Hard 4, or at least been involved. Bring back Sundown!
EM
To Live and Die Hard in L.A.
Things to Do in Denver When You Die Hard
Ben
Get Rich or Die Hard Trying
To Live and Die Hard in L.A.
John Tucker Must Die Hard
Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying Hard
Alive Hard (this one would have zombies in it)
EM
That second one’s not bad…
Ben
Oops! Sorry about that. I didn’t see that someone already said that one.
MGM
Die Hard Six: Die Already!
John
A Good Day to Die Hard
Andy Hutton
Do or Die Hard
Live Forever or Die Hard
Live Fast, Die Hard (someone already had this, I think I like this one best)
Gareth Callenby
Die Hard Straits
Die Hard in the Rough
Die Hard Metrically Opposed
Die Hardly Wait
Eins, Zwei, Die, Hard
Die Hard Attack
Do or Die Hard
Die Hard and Exercise
Mostly Die Hardless (Adaptation of Douglas Adams’ comic sci-fi novel into jokey actioner)
Dieharderance (McClane, Powell, and a few other characters go on a river tour where they are besieged by backwoods international terrorists)
A Die Hard a Dozen (Title for the 12th film in the franchise)
Channing
“If You Die Hard for Longer Than Four Hours, See a Doctor”
Tom Haggas
Only the Good Die Hard
Aaron Matthew Gaul
5 Ways to Die Hard
Adrian Lopez
Fifty Shades of Die Hard
Wolley Dratsum
Maybe Ben Affleck could direct:
Die Hard Go F@#k Yourself
Greg Wilson
“Old Habits Die Hard”
Christopher Grimmstad
Where Dreams Go to Die Hard
Take Heed or Die Hard
JoJo
Die Hard in the Ass.
aufVidyZen
Die Hard with a Pacemaker.
christopher kim
As a big fan of Star Trek, I would go with, Live Long or Die Hard.
Joseph Fadoir
I like “Only the Good Die Hard” but I have some other suggestions. “Die Hard… Again” “The Good, the Bad and the Die Hard” “Die Hard OR ELSE!” “Die Hardest” “Die Hard? Sure, why not?”