Weekend Roundtable: Most Hated Movies

This week, we’d like to introduce a new recurring feature here at The Bonus View. For the Weekend Roundtable, all of our resident bloggers have been asked to weigh in with a few sentences on a given topic. Then we turn it over to you, our readers, to discuss in the comments over the weekend. Sound like a good idea? We think so. Our topic for this inaugural entry: What are your most hated movies?

Before we get started, let’s define what we mean by “most hated movies.” These aren’t necessarily the worst movies we’ve ever seen. If that were the case, any random SyFy Channel piece of crap would qualify. No, these are the movies that, for whatever reason, we really hate. We hate them to the core of our beings. We hate that these movies exist at all, and wish that we could erase all evidence that they ever did. We hate that anyone else out there might actually like them. If they’re really popular movies and major award winners, all the better.

Got it? Here are the staff picks:

Dick Ward

  1. S.W.A.T.‘ – I absolutely abhor movies that sit in that range between wonderful and awful. Back in 2003, I was a big fan of Samuel L. Jackson, and I had high hopes for Colin Farrell after ‘Minority Report.’ It’s not that ‘S.W.A.T’ was particularly bad. It’s just that no one making the movie seemed to put any effort to it. I came out of that movie steaming mad.
  2. Catwoman‘ – I thought ‘Catwoman’ would be a really fun movie to rip on. Thirty minutes in, it stopped being funny. Bad movies are funny by default. But no, not ‘Catwoman.’ The thing about Catwoman, you see, is that she doesn’t have magic “cat vision” or nine lives or anything like that. Like Batman, she’s just a person in a suit. Also, can we take back Halle Berry’s Oscar? She makes me sad when she tries to act.
  3. There’s Something About Mary‘ – Well, I had to have something on here that we could disagree about, didn’t I? I just plain don’t like the Farrelly brothers. ‘There’s Something About Mary’ gets my ire particularly because of the amount of praise it got. It’s the most base level of comedy and it stars Cameron Diaz and Ben Stiller, both of whom could benefit Hollywood greatly by retiring today.

Drew Taylor

  1. The Films of Ed Zwick – Ed Zwick holds a special place in my hate chamber because his focus is so specialized and infuriating: he’s built a career of making movies about minorities where a white guy is the hero. Only Ed Zwick would make a movie called ‘The Last Samurai‘ and cast Tom Fucking Cruise in the title role. (Admittedly, the samurai vs. ninja fight was cool, though.) Oh, and the Civil War (in ‘Glory‘)? Why not make the hero Ferris Bueller? And who better to speak for the crime-ravaged nation states of Africa than one-time Romeo, Leonardo DiCaprio (in ‘Blood Diamond‘)? The movies would be more annoying if anyone took them seriously. Instead, they’re the worst kind of escapist trash: the kind that actually thinks it’s saying something.
  2. A Beautiful Mind‘ – Yes, I know there’s a swimming pool in Ron Howard’s backyard full of the Awards this thing won, including more Oscars than I’m comfortable mentioning. But peee-hew, what a stinker! It’s overly convoluted (and sentimental), so far-fetched that there’s no way a third of the movie COULDN’T be imaginary, and shot with cloying period detail. I’d rather watch the Robert Langdon movies back-to-back than sit through this sickly mess.
  3. Police, Adjective‘ – I’m not really sure what the Romanian New Wave is, but I know this much: it’s incredibly boring.

David Krauss

  1. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button‘ – A film that seemed almost as long as the life of its freakishly odd main character, this interminable, preciously filmed saga with a premise as gimmicky and off-putting as another of my least favorite films (the strikingly similar and equally awful ‘Forrest Gump‘) somehow earned a slew of Oscar nominations. (Now that’s a curious case if there ever was one!) I’m all for suspending my disbelief, but this bizarre tale required a leap of faith I just wasn’t willing to make. No wonder it’s one of the few works from F. Scott Fitzgerald that nobody ever heard of…
  2. 10,000 B.C.‘ – Roland Emmerich just makes bad movies. Period. So how I got hoodwinked into seeing this bit of deadly dull, prehistoric dreck after suffering through such epicly horrific pieces of schlock like ‘Independence Day‘ and ‘The Day After Tomorrow’‘ escapes me. The preview looked kind of cool, but I should have known better. After all, there’s only about two or three minutes of worthy footage in any Emmerich film, and he was sure to cram all of it into the trailer.
  3. Almost any second installment of a trilogy – ‘Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones,’ featuring the lyrically poetic dialogue of George Lucas and stellar acting of Hayden Christensen. (I’m being facetious, folks!); ‘Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest,’ with that silly Ferris wheel contraption; and ‘The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers,’ which was really just one loooooong battle sequence, all give trilogies a bad name…

Josh Zyber

  1. Forrest Gump‘ – David and I are on the same page with this one. There’s no movie on Earth that has ever infuriated me more than ‘Forrest Gump’. I could rant for hours about its cloying sentimentality, its latent misogyny (why should poor Jenny be punished so horridly throughout the movie just because she didn’t want to settle for marrying the town moron?), its racism (that’s no coincidence that all of the black characters are either mentally retarded or abusive thugs), and its frightening reactionary politics. But what really pisses me off most is how the movie celebrates and idolizes ignorance as some sort of ideal state of being, and villainizes anyone who “thinks too much” as the cause of all the world’s problems. The fact that this piece of shit made a trillion dollars at the box office and won 87 Oscars just makes me hate humanity. Stupid is as stupid does, indeed. Shame on the Academy for rewarding this movie over ‘Pulp Fiction’, shame on everyone who made this movie, and shame on anyone who likes this movie.
  2. A Time To Kill‘ – John Grisham thought he was writing the next ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ when he penned the novel that this is based on. John Grisham is a moron. The story purports to tell the tale of poor black people in the South overcoming white oppression… with the help of a white savior, of course. Meanwhile, it’s filled with shockingly racist caricatures and ridiculously ham-fisted symbolism. (The black characters literally live on the other side of the tracks. There are actually train tracks right in front of the house. It’s hilarious.) The legal-thriller plot makes no sense at all, and ultimately endorses vigilante justice over law and order. To top it off, hackmeister Joel Schumacher shoots the film in his typical over-the-top fetishistic style (I’ve never seen any other movie with so many close-ups of characters sweating), and directs the one-dimensional villain characters to deliver performances more cartoonish than anything in his lousy ‘Batman’ movies. Awful, awful, awful.
  3. Gladiator‘ – Sorry, David, this is where we part company. You gave Ridley Scott’s dopey revival of the sword & sandal genre 5 stars in your review. That’s at least 4 ½ more than I’d ever give it. I found this movie tedious, shoddily made (some of those flyover VFX shots of the Roman Coliseum look like they were animated on a Commodore 64), and dead stupid. As the swishy villain, Joaquin Phoenix gives one of the worst performances by a professional actor that I’ve ever seen. When I saw this thing opening weekend, I was certain that it would bomb. I still can’t believe that it was such a big hit, or that it won the Oscar for Best Picture. (Seriously, did that really happen?) “Are you not entertained?,” Maximus asks. No, not even for one second.

Well, that’s it for our picks. So, tell us, what movies do you hate? And more importantly, why?

76 comments

  1. Babel – It was so bad, they had to GIVE it away when you bought a Blu-Ray or HD-DVD player. I opened up the HD-DVD when I got it because I heard it was good. Its basically one long mess, people acting to stereotypes, and the only person who could act was poor Elle Fanning in what was pretty much her first role without her big sister in there with her.

    Pulp Fiction – I survived about 30 minutes of this. Its just disturbing, and there is nothing redeeming about this movie.

    Austin Powers 2 – Apparently the writters and directors completely missed what made the first one so great. Luckily, they redeemed themselves with the third movie.

    Star Trek 5 – Nuff said

    Home Alone 2 – Okay, first one was cute – the first 5 times I saw it. The second one was, well, BAD.

    The Cube – The only movie I ahve ever seen to give me nightmares. I saw the movie once, 11 years ago, and still have psychological issues from this.

    Return To Oz / Neverending Story – Hate both for the same reason. Both movies were made with a very young audience in ming. The problem is, enemies in these movies are just so evil, the poor kids will have nightmares from them. Parents just think, Oh children’s movie, and subject the poor kid to it again and again.

    • Josh Zyber
      Author

      I quite like the storyline in Babel about the deaf Japanese girl. And the Brad Bitt/Cate Blanchett storyline is fairly decent. The movie is really undone by that lousy storyline about the Mexican nanny, who of course has to turn out to be an illegal immigrant. That’s where the movie’s connections seem less like fate and more like contrivance. It’s especially suprising how bad that section of the movie is when you realize that the director is Mexican himself.

      I’m right with you on Austin Powers. Love the first movie. Only laughed once during the second, and that was in the opening Jerry Springer scene. I don’t understand why so many people hate the third. It’s not as good as the first, but it’s certainly a huge improvement over the second.

      Pulp Fiction… Yeah, man, you’re just crazy there. 🙂

  2. BTW, I have an unopened copy of Babel on Blu-Ray that I can’t get rid of. No one wants it. In fact, most people I know who got the free copy with their players did not open it either. Babel is like a High-Def version of the AOL disc

      • Now I think they need a “Movies you love that everyone else hated”. I have that movie on both DVD and VHS. Absolutely LOVED it. Then again, I saw the Lost In Space movie way before I saw the original TV show. I understand why fans of the TV show don’t like it, but I think it was a VERY good movie on its own, and quite disappointed that there was no sequel or spin-off TV series. Actually, with all the movie and TV show reboots going on, I would love to see one of Lost In Space. If it wasn’t for the weird Time thing in the movie, that would ahve been an EXCELLENT reboot.

  3. BostonMA

    as Drew says about the films of Ed Zwick, i pick for my first choice:

    1) the films of Ron Howard with the exception of Cinderella Man, which is still laced with his garbage sentimentality and manipulation, not to mention some big inaccuracies. i can’t stand how Howard constantly gets commended for making awful feel good movies after awful feel good movies. it makes me want to throw up.

    for the record, i did and do like A Beautiful Mind but only because of how good some of the performances are. it shouldn’t have been anywhere near the Best Picture race that year and of course it ended up winning.

    2)Almost anything with Julia Roberts. I. Cannot. Stand. Julia. Roberts. there isn’t an exact pinpointed flaw i can find as to why i hate her so much but i just do. i really enjoyed Oceans 11 and saw Charlie Wilson’s War and Closer but i don’t know if i can ever watch those three again, because of her presence in them.

    3) i know there’s a good few movies that i absolutely hate but they just don’t come to mind right now.

    lately though, i’ve been getting extremely irritated with all the praise from my dumbass friends about Green Street Hooligans and how it’s the best movie ever made. i don’t think i need to say anymore than that as to why i’m annoyed with my friends.

    i do agree with Forest Gump somewhat though. i saw it once and wasn’t too happy after, and i never want to see it again. glad to see that a few other people don’t absolutely love it.

    I’m also not a fan of Grisham or his novels. the firm was a good movie, but that’s due to the people who made the film. Grisham is indeed a moron.

    good stuff.

  4. JoeRo

    I hate adaptations, almost without exception. It doesn’t matter if a screenplay is adapted from literature, theater, or television, I absolutely loathe adaptations. Comic book adaptations are generally so poorly executed that they earn the top spot on my most hated list.

    Most grievous offenders include; The Hulk (both versions), The Harry Potter series, Youth in Revolt, Transformers, High Fidelity (and anything else originally written by Hornby), and The Crow series.

    The main exceptions to this no adaptations rule is any movie adapted from the works of Philip K. Dick. That stuff is always good, even if it ends up being sorta goofy (I’m looking at you Total Recall).

    • I actually LOVED the third Harry Potter movie – they stuck to the story, cut out a good 50% of the book, but left enough that I didn’t feel ripped off. They should have got Alfonso to do all 7 books. He is also the first director to really get half-way decent acting out of the cast.

      First and second movies felt rushed because they just tried to fit everything in. Add to that child actors who had never acted before with a director who did not know how to get them to act. Fourth movie was an absolute mess, with a good 80% of the book thrown out or changed. Those who had read the books were disappointed that so much was left out, those who hadn’t read the books seemed to be lost. The fifth movie had an inexperienced television director who seems to have never made anything on a budget before, and seemed to be lost. Luckily he learned from his mistakes and gave us a half-way decent sixth movie.

      I was able to stomach the first Transformers movie, but the second one was just, well, BAD.

      I quite liked Blade Runner and Total Recall, but haven’t read the books. I think I am the only person I know who likes Total Recall.

  5. BostonMA

    The Ninth Gate: yeah, the movie is absolutely terrible, but Polanski tries to sell it the entire time as a smart and engaging thriller. it is by far the worst movie that Johnny Depp’s been in and an insult to every fan of film across the world.

    • Jacas

      Im sorry anyone who did’nt like any of the LOTR movies,should’nt be reviewing movies,because you would’nt know what a good movie is while your watching it.I know everyone has a right to an opinion,but not likeing these movies is saying you don’t like breathing.

      • I think there’s a valid argument to be made for ‘Two Towers’ since it was the lesser of the three. I enjoyed the whole series, but you could really just watch the first and third and not miss much. Aside from shield surfing.

  6. Jane Morgan

    ‘Empire Strikes Back: Special Edition’ – George Lucas is a child molester. This is the proof.

    I almost never feel hate. But one movie I love, which apparently the entire world hates, is ‘Hannibal.’ It’s in my Top 10 Favorite Movies Of All Time. I love every single frame, every beat. I can’t explain it. I don’t like ‘Silence of the Lambs’ or ‘Red Dragon’ and I won’t ever watch ‘Hannibal Rising.’ But I probably watch ‘Hannibal’ at least twice a year. It’s sad the blu-ray transfer is weak. But I loved it my first time in the theater, and I will love it forever. I want Anthony Hopkins to never die.

    • Anyone that hates ‘Hannibal’ is wrong. That’s all there is to it.

      I know you said you’ll never watch ‘Hannibal Rising,’ but here’s some advice anyway – never watch ‘Hannibal Rising.’ Never, ever, ever. It’s just that boring bad.

  7. 1. Batman Forever – Because it has Jim Carrey doing, Jim Carrey. Tommy Lee Jones replacing Lando Calrissian as Two Face and then proceeding to be, Tommy Lee Jones. We have Val Kilmer as the crappest Batman EVER. Nicole Kidman (why?) and of course Chris O’Donnell in full career destroying mode as the angstiest Robin in comic history. We also have the joy of seeing the Batmobile drive UP A WALL… Flat out filth and garbage. FAIL.

    2. The Fifth Element – If anyone can explain to me what this is about, like REALLY about. I’d be appreciative. Mila should never act in anything ever. What is the black goo shit? Why did they waste such an awesome Blade Runner setting. Why Bruce Willis, WHY?!

    3. Anything by Paul WS Anderson. WORST. DIRECTOR. EVER. This F$%KER wouldn’t know an original idea if it bit his leg off. A complete hack that ruined my favourite gaming franchise’s cinematic translation by fetishing his wife over all other elements. Flat out hatred.

    • “The Fifth Element – If anyone can explain to me what this is about…”

      Bruce Willis saves the world. Done.

      “Paul WS Anderson” “ruined my favourite gaming franchise…”

      If a Resident Evil movie were truly based on the games, it would be far, far worse. Not that I’m defending Mr. Anderson, I just think it’s a bit misguided to think that you missed out on cinematic gold.

        • I can definitely understand that. It’s the least accurate version.

          The BBC version was actually pretty spot on with the source material, which isn’t the books, but a radio play which was created before the books were written. (just elaborating for folks that don’t know 🙂 )

          As far as the Hollywood version goes, I still embrace it. If nothing else, watch it and love it for Sam Rockwell, who took Zaphod in a wonderfully mindless direction. “I hereby kidnap myself, and I’m taking this ship with me!”

          I think the Hollywood version did Vogons best too. In the other sources, they’re said to be bureaucratic, but we never really get to see that. We’re just told by the guide, but then there’s never an actual example. All those scenes with the forms are a great touch.

          The ending joke though, “it’s at the other end of the universe,” makes me cringe every time.

          I’d definitely love to see it done again, or more specifically I’d like to see any of the other books done. I think ‘So Long and Thanks For All the Fish’ would be the easiest to film and the most relateable since it takes place mainly on earth. But any of them would be cool.

          • The BBC version was low budget, but that kind of kept to the source material. The Volgans looked like they were wearing cheap rubber suits, but that is how they are described in the books.

            The Disney version did have that weird side-quest in it. That being said, DOuglas Adams did write the screenplay. Sadly, he had no additional input, as he died like ten years before the movie was made. However, the directors were actually fans of the source material, and gave a few shoutouts to fans of the original (the original Marvin makes a cameo, the music behind the book, etc).

            I would truthfully like to see them get past The Restaraunt at the End of The Universe and make the other three books into movies.

  8. congrats, Joseph, you just made me imagine my dream film: Nick Cage, in a Uwe Boll video game action comedy. my god, the sheer amount of awesome that would be.

  9. Chicabala

    What about the chick flicks, like the bounty hunter, sex and the city, and all the other crap that is produced every year, i hate those movies much more than what people are saying here, forrest gump, gladiator?!,… weird blogpeople…having too much time on their hands

  10. Twilight, hands down one of the worst thought up series of books and of course movies ever done, the raping of real Vampire lore to produce some god awful teen emo bullshit is the most horrible blaspheming I’ve ever seen on celluloid and the even worse part is that I get dragged along by my wife…..ugh

    But I have to agree somewhat, when we get crap like Twilight and have to hear people actually bitch about cinematic greatness like Gladiator and Forrest Gump, I know its all personal taste but man to think that they could remotely think Twilight would be better than either of those two movies (with as much hate was flung around for them in here) is beyond understanding

    • Josh Zyber
      Author

      The Twilight movies are also terrible, but they don’t pretend to be “important” and have never won any Oscars. They are what they are, which is “teen emo bullshit” as you aptly described it. They’re not for me, but I’m not a 13-year-old girl.

      • The girls who drug me to see the first two movies were all like, Its So romantic. I responded, that’s romantic? I then stared at them for three minutes looking like I was about to Eat them, and when they told me to stop, I said, fine, I’ll just break into your room in the middle of the night and watch you sleep.

        As far as bad Vampire movies go, add Queen of the Damned. I LOVED the movie Interview With the Vampire, and absolutely love the books. What is sad is that, no Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt, and they skipped almost the entire Vampire LeStat book. I think most people who went and saw Queen of the Damned did not even realize it was the third book in Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles series. They just need to reboot that series, start fresh. It would actually make a great television series if it was spread out over a few seasons. Shoot, each book could be its own season, with a chapter an episode!

        • BambooLounge

          “I responded, that’s romantic? I then stared at them for three minutes looking like I was about to Eat them”

          Odd, you’d figure the girls would’ve like that. Most like to complain that men don’t “return the favor” enough. Do you have braces?

          ….see what I did there. Ok, I have to get back to 8th grade algebra now.

  11. As far as Resident Evil goes, I’m so glad they put more nods to the games in then EVER decided to adapt the story from the game, we’ve all seen before how bad that can turn out and taking it in a more action, less horror direction was the best idea IMO, the new preview for Afterlife thats up over at IGN is awesome in every way, Chris Redfield is here and ready to kick some ass and the brief clip of him firing at Wesker with Wesker warping around the room looked fantastic, so reminds me of Resident Evil 5, the RE movies are probably some of the most underrated action films out there IMO and I’m tired of hearing people moan and complain about the movies not following the games, get over it and enjoy the movies for what they are, your precious games are still there for you 😉

  12. besch64

    Serenity. I really like the Firefly tv series, but Serenity is just an abortion. I hated it the first time I watched it, and I hated it even more the second time.

    I would also include Matrix: Revolutions and Date Movie at the top of that list. The common thread between those three movies is that I saw them in theaters and therefor wasted ten of my precious dollars on them. Hate.

    • Josh Zyber
      Author

      You like Firefly but hate Serenity? That’s just odd, given that they’re basically the same in every way (except that Serenity has a better budget). You care to elaborate?

      • Oh dude, Serenity in no way compares to Firefly. The plot advances too quickly, characters die off after having only seconds of screentime and there’s very little depth to anything.

        I loved the assassin… he was excellent. But the movie just wasn’t as good as the show.

        Hating it? That’s going too far. But it’s definitely not as good.

        • Interesting. I wouldn’t say that the show was particularly deep either. About the plot advancing too quickly and characters dying, those don’t really bother me if I think of the movie as being a series finale episode, rather than a standalone story. It works better in that context.

          I’ll be honest, I’ve never loved Firefly as much as some fanboys. Whedon’s shows usually need at least 2 seasons to find their footing. Firefly never had a chance to grow out of its early formative stage.

          But I did *like* the show. And I honestly don’t see the movie being much different than it in any respect.

          • besch64

            “The plot advances too quickly, characters die off after having only seconds of screentime and there’s very little depth to anything.”

            ^This 100%

            I think my MAIN issue is that I saw Serenity before I ever saw Firefly. So the way the plot moves along and the character introductions/deaths made absolutely no sense to me. As a stand alone movie, Serenity is just horribly constructed.

            Then I watched Firefly and enjoyed it quite a bit. I figured I’d go back and watch Serenity and enjoy it as essentially an extended episode.

            But for some reason, I was unable to separate the movie from the first time I watched it and I hated it more than ever. I just think it’s a lame movie.

          • Well, I think this IS the problem with Serenity, is that it was trying to be a series finale. The series left too many plots open that they tried to close in a single movie. Truthfully, a mini-series or second movie was needed to really do the series justice. Stargate did that, worked really well.

            No, I totally agree, Serenity was just rushed.

            The problem is that Fox just does not understand a good francise when they have it. How many times have they canceled Family Guy, just to bring it back after DVD sales and syndication does well?

  13. BostonMA

    my friend completely hates Boogie Nights and i wish he’d elaborate on that because when i asked him to he said “NO, NO, NO. I JUST …. HATE IT”.

  14. Ted S.

    Lets see, the two films I really hate are:

    1. Pearl Harbor, why? Because A) Michael Bay directed it. B) One most devastating moments in US history and yet the filmmakers decided to focus the story on some lame ass love triangle, I was quite offended to be honest. And C) Michael Bay directed it.

    2. This one I will get some heat from movie fans but I can’t stand Dark City. I saw it in theater when it came, hated it, rented the DVD couple of years later and hate it even more. I just hated everything about this film, particularly Kiefer Sutherland’s character, I can’t stand that guy.

  15. that1guypictures

    I’m gonna have to say one, that I know a lot of people love. But I hate ALL of the Shrek films. I didn’t like the first one, or the second. And I couldn’t stand the third one. I refuse to see the 4th one. I only saw the first three because my family dragged me to them. I also hated Kung Fu Panda, and Monsters Vs. Aliens. For some reason, I just don’t like most of the computer animated Dreamworks films. (I’ve loved every single Pixar one though.) In contrast, I loved Prince of Egypt, Antz, Over the Hedge, and How to Train Your Dragon, which are all Dreamworks films.

  16. mh

    The most overrated movie I think I’ve ever watched, one I found excruciating to sit through and offered for me no entertainment value at all, was LOST IN TRANSLATION.

    It got raves all around and won an Oscar for writing, but I couldn’t stand it.

  17. Jane Morgan

    I love Michael Bay, but hated ‘The Island.’ They fall off that sign, thirty stories down, hit concrete, and live. That’s just an insult.

    I hated ‘Serenity’ too. Joss claims he needed that story structure and those deaths, but I don’t buy it. What he needed was a better idea.

  18. Art

    It’s easy to “hate” bad movies, but here are 3 that are critically acclaimed that I suppose I should like…but don’t.

    1. Forrest Gump. Tom Hank’s Gump accent grated on me at the beginning, and built to a crescendo of loathing by the end. Over saturated is as over saturated does.

    2. There Will Be Blood. For me, over the top, dark and foreboding in an off putting and repetitive manner. Bludgeon over the head film making.

    3. Natural Born Killers. While containing a few moments of brilliance, sometimes holding back just a little is more effective.

  19. BambooLounge

    “But what really pisses me off most is how the movie celebrates and idolizes ignorance as some sort of ideal state of being, and villainizes anyone who “thinks too much” as the cause of all the world’s problems” – Josh on Gump

    Forrest Gump just seemed to set the tone for what would follow in both Hollywood and American society in general. (See: Palin, O’Riely/Mahr-styled political talking heads, Avatar, 300, Rambo, etc)

    • You know, I never looked at it the way Josh does but now I’ve got a bad feeling that I’m gonna hate it too.

      I can’t stand when movies do that:(

  20. Mike

    Most of the movies that I hate are because they come across as preachy. This includes Crash, Wall-E, and Babel.

    I also hate Gladiator because it’s pointless and never ends.

    The one movie I hate more than them all which everyone else seems to love is Boondock Saints. It really does not get any worse than this. It’s just wrong in everything it says and does. The movie’s moral barometer is so off that I actually thought it was a parody of something else when I first saw it. Just god-awful.

    • besch64

      I don’t think anybody actually likes the Boondock Saints. It used to be super hipster and indie, but not even those people like it anymore. Critics never liked it. It’s just trash.

  21. Thulsadoom

    Just to be controversial…

    Pulp Fiction – Yes, yes, I know, it’s full of ‘symbolism’ and ‘dialogue’ and ‘shocking moments’ and ‘deep wonderful characters’. It just bores the hell out of me. Time out of my life I’ll never get back, and it was the kick into the big leagues of probably the most overrated director in decades.

    Something About Mary – I have to agree with Dick on that… But it’s not just SAM itself, but what it represents. The real start of all those films that followed in a similar style.

    Revolutionary Road – Ye-gads… Completely unnecessary sequel to Titanic, based on the hypothetical idea that Jack survived… a career low for Winslet and DeCaprio, and a film that steadily saps the will to live.

    No Country for Old Men – Like Pulp Fiction… so boring I have to even quote myself: “Yes, yes, I know, it’s full of ‘symbolism’ and ‘dialogue’ and ‘shocking moments’ and ‘deep wonderful characters’. It just bores the hell out of me.”

  22. I agree with the hatred toward Pulp Fiction. I think it’s so overrated. I particularly hate when people put it in their top movies of all time lists. Please.

  23. Man, a lot of Pulp Fiction hate! I didn’t see the flick until a few years ago, primarily because I tend to avoid anything TOO popular.

    I loved each individual part of Pulp Fiction. Taken separately, I thought they were brilliant.

    I have issues with the piece as a whole – I just don’t know if it works as well as a movie as it would as a series of short films.

    But hate? I just don’t get it. Unless you’re just anti-Tarantino in general.

  24. BambooLounge

    Good to see Revolutionary Road mentioned. That was the last movie I watched that I think actually pissed me off, it was so bad.

    Mendes was so lazy with his “American Beauty: 1950s Edition.” It is a cheap, thematic imitation of Who’s Afraid of Virgina Woolf?

    The whole film was a ton of screaming and stale shooting (Mendes’ penchant for theater framing) used to tell a stereotypical tale of suburban disenchantment in as a broad and obvious manner as possible.

    I would have fallen asleep if the characters were not screaming so much.

    • BostonMA

      i loved Revolutionary Road, and am pretty surprised you think the movie is exactly that, but i remember you saying you dislike Mendes’ latest moves so i guess it’s not too surprising.

  25. I can’t believe that nobody has mentioned the absolute dreck that is the filmography of M. Night Shyamalan (with the exception of Unbreakable).

    1. Signs – This movie is actually good for about the first 80% of the story (which is why I hate it the most) and then Shyamalan throws a middle finger to the intelligence of the audience. The wife of the main character has to die, in the beginning of the film, in order to leave a message to be relayed to his brother to “swing away.” Now I have to believe his brother, being a former baseball player, couldn’t conceive of this concept himself (either he is of subhuman intelligence or this is bad writing).

    2. The Sixth Sense – I hope this pisses people off. The problem with this film is that it only worked in a single viewing and that’s only if you didn’t figure out the twist form viewing the trailer. The fact that really irritates me about this film is that it caused people to start comparing Shyamalan with Hitchcock. He is not in the same league as Hitchcock. Hitchcock’s films stand up to repeated viewings and the test of time.

    3. The Lady in the Water/The Happening – The Lady in the Water was an unwatchable mess that should have ended Hollywood’s infatuation with the overrated director but instead he gets to helm The Happening. It appears to me, with The Happening, that Shyamalan just decided to top Lady in the Water as his worst movie so far and he delivered in spades with awful acting, directing, and writing.

    • BambooLounge

      Totally on the same page with you about M. Night. I’ve gone into my “He is NOT Hitch” speech many a time after finding out a friend or acquaintance was a big Sixth Sense fan.

      He is a very frustratingly annoying director and you didn’t even get into the interminable bore of a “twist” film that is The Village.

    • I agree with the thrust of your post, but I’m still excited about ‘The Last Airbender.’ I think it will show that Shyamalan is a good writer and director as long as he’s not creating his own premise. My theory is that he’s a reverse George Lucas, who can’t write or direct, but is fantastic at crafting the broad story.

      I have no real reason to believe that the theory is true and no evidence to back it up, but I love the idea. So here’s hoping.

      • I hope that this is the case. He has showed, albeit sparingly, that he has tremendous ability. As you said, maybe he’s just not a very good concept person. The Last Airbender was a very good animated series that has the potential to be a great film.

      • coologuy1957

        I have actually liked and defended every M. Night film with the exception of “The Happening” which I think was just a big F YOU to everyone who hated him anyway. That movie is atrocious and I pretend it didn’t “happen”. I love the Avatar TLA series and was hoping he would bring it to life seeing as he claimed to love it too. Sadly, there is no redeeming qualities to “The Last Airbender” movie. I think, in many ways, it is even worse than “The Happening”. The acting is worse. The storytelling is worse (he f**ks up the entire series and the characterizations, never mind the name pronunciations..) and its a boring train wreck. I actually remember at least feeling scared and intrigued during the beginning of “The Happening” and I also laughed at Wahlberg trying to convince the plant not to kill them – only to find out it was a plastic plant! I didn’t enjoy a second of “The Last Airbender” and I won’t defend him any more… I kind of wish he would just go away at this point..

  26. coologuy1957

    You should rename this segment to “Weekend Roundtable: How to Piss Everyone Off”

    I love that I watch as many movies as all you, love gadgets and blu-ray and plasma TVs, and that I like lots of the movies that you derided!

    Dick: Its not our fault you’re too stupid and actually saw SWAT and Catwoman… There’s Something About Mary was a breath of fresh air back when it came to theaters and the Farrelly Brothers always have a way of finding universal laughs. Don’t be such a snob thats you can’t laugh at a dude getting his junk caught in his zipper…

    Drew – Last Samurai, Glory, and A Beautiful Mind are all powerful films with great performances. You obviously aren’t sensitive to any of the issues in them or the emotions people go through when in these serious situations. You may, in fact, be a serial killer..

    David – Curious Case wove a great story and, most importantly, had amazing characters and performances. (its also dazzling beautiful on blu-ray) I almost went with your unnecessary sequels idea (as I hate Episode II and Dead Mans Chest too), but the Two Towers is my fave Lord of the Rings. The extended edition especially has the most humor and best fighting. The psychological battle of Gollum vs Smeagol, the emergence of Gandalf the White, the Last March of the Ents, and the Battle of Helms Deep make it the best of the series.

    Josh – Gladiator has great action and revenge and a badass Russell Crowe. And Forrest Gump? Its a fun look at a span of time viewed from an impartial protagonist.. It has all the fun and sadness and rage and happiness and, most of all, randomness of real life over time… Everyone can relate to the trials of Forrest, retarded or not, and I’m really beginning to wonder about the pschopaths you work with. Do y’all feel anything?

    That aside (lol), I’ll play your little game:

    1. Lost In Translation – one of my most hated films of the past 10 years. As much as I love Bill Murray and some of his quirky humor in there, I simply couldn’t ever feel anything for them and instead of “going on a ride” through Japan with them, I felt like I was dragged kicking and screaming.

    2. Million Dollar Baby – I love the part of it thats a boxing moving and hate whatever the hell the other part was supposed to be. The two sides never gelled for me and the ridiculous bait-and-switch always pissed me off.

    3. Batman & Robin – no explanation required…

    • ” Its not our fault you’re too stupid and actually saw SWAT and Catwoman… ”

      You’re aware that Batman & Robin is on your list, right?

      • coologuy1957

        lol – touché salesman…

        on the other hand, almost everyone saw that movie and almost no one thought it would/could even suck THAT BAD….