It’s been a while since we’ve had a contest around here. Let’s rectify that problem right away, shall we? For your chance to win a copy of ‘The Office: Season 6’ on Blu-ray, all you have to do is tell us all about the worst job you’ve ever had. You’ve had a bad job, haven’t you? Of course you have. Follow after the break for the details on how to win.
We’ve all had bad jobs at one time or another, I’m sure. Maybe the job itself just stunk. Maybe you had an impossibly demanding boss. Maybe your otherwise tolerable workday was repeatedly ruined by one obnoxious co-worker. Now is your time to vent. Describe what that sucked so bad about this job, and you might win the Blu-ray edition of ‘The Office: Season 6‘. That’s 25 episodes of awkward hilarity, yours for free!
Me? My worst job happened the summer after my freshman year of college. I was a telemarketer for all of one and a half days. I had to cold call random strangers to sell tickets to a country music concert for some singer I’d never even heard of. Let me tell you, these were not the Glengarry leads I was working from either, not at all. I sold precisely zero tickets and was fired. The cherry on this sundae? One of the people I called was also a telemarketer, who heckled me for doing such a lousy job. And he was right! That was the longest day and a half of my life.
What’s your story? Put it to writing in the comments below. Try to keep your entries to less than 500 words, if you can. (Please, no epic novel-length rants. Be concise.) The stories can be funny or sad or angry, or anything else you want. A winner will be chosen at my own subjective discretion based on whatever mood I’m in and whatever strikes me as being my favorite.
One entry per person. This contest is only open to entrants from the domestic United States. We will not ship internationally (whether you’re a U.S. citizen or not). Employees of High-Def Digest or Internet Brands and their families are not eligible. Standard contest rules and conditions apply. Winners of our previous contests are also not eligible to win, but may get Honorable Mentions.
The deadline for entry is Friday, September 3rd. The winner will be announced the following Monday, September 6thTuesday, September 7th. (I just realized that Monday is a holiday, sorry.)
Sadly, we only have one copy of ‘The Office: Season 6’ to give away. So there can only be one winner, and no Runners Up this time.
Good luck to everyone who enters!
William Henley
Burger King! What a nightmare. Been out of college three years, and was unable to find a job, so a friend “did me a favor” and got me on there. First, let me specify this was a francise of five stores, which are now out of business, and does not reflect the corporation.
When I started, I was the overnight porter. That is, had to clean the kitchen. What a nightmare! Broiler had to be cleaned, fryers, floors (and the fryers leaked, so grease was usually on the floor), vents. Took me about 4 hours on a good day. Then the store manager started freakign about labor, and told me I had to do it in three.
I was later moved to morning shift. The store was 30 miles away from my house, gas $4 a gallon, and the store manager had me there 5 hours a day, but only let me put 2 on the clock.
Later he moved me to night shift with the assistant manager. Now because he had a bad habbit of blowing labor cost in the day, it would be me and the store manager there by ourselves many times trying to handle the evening crowd. The store manager also did NOT know how to order. Would order 3 cases of potatos when we sold maybe 3 single potatos a week, then not order frys or whopper patties. He would order shake mix when our shake machine hadn’t worked in two months. And he refused to fix the A/C for a store in Texas in the summer!
I later got moved to another store after reporting the issues to the owner. Loved the assistant manager there, but she would sometimes bring in her husband to help with the dinner rush, who was an ass. He decided to speed up the chain in the broiler where the meat was being cooked less than a minute. I refused to serve it, he got mad, I threatened to call the health department.
I finally did call the health department. The cooling element went out in the cooler. 3 days later, the store manager still had not ordered the replacement. The cooler was 72 degrees, the freezer was 50. The health department closed it down, and it never reopened. Within two months, all the stores ran by this francise were closed down.
Mike Attebery
I wrote an entire book about the worst job I ever had:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0578018705
Nathan Litz
Selling natural gas door to door. Main problem was, every house we’d go to had already been approached by someone else doing the same thing, so people would fly into a rage when you started your speil. I worked at that job for just over a week, and every day was agony.
Sam
I was a caddy in high school and not being the biggest guy it was really difficult to carry the bag throughout the day. To add to that, I knew absolutely nothing about golf and it became very awkward when the guy I was caddying for asked me for pointers and if I’ve ever played and I replied with, “I’ve played mini-golf.” I wasn’t at that job very long.
Dennis Lam
Had a job working a newspaper route at 3 am in the morning during the summer….sucked so bad…after three months i called it quits…looking like a dam zombie and losing sleep precious sleep was not something I wanted…sometimes we jump the gun when it comes to money.
Brian
I worked for a year at a company that gives tours of Puget Sound. However, I didn’t work on a boat. I worked in the attached photo lab. My job was to take a picture of every passenger in front of a branded life ring, so I could then sell it to them for $10 when they got off the boat. Only thing was, hardly anyone wanted their picture taken. They would give me all kinds of reasons why I couldn’t take their picture (“I work for the CIA” and stuff).
Although I personally didn’t care either way, my boss got pissed every time he caught me not taking a passenger’s picture, so I ended up having to come up with ridiculous reasons why I DID have to take their picture. Lots of animosity toward me from those passengers, and suffice to say they didn’t often buy the picture afterward. Worst job ever…
Robert Wicker
I, too, worked as a “telemarketer” when I was 24 or so, but it was totally commissioned based. That means “no sale = no money” at all. There was no hourly wage, no anything. I worked this gig for 6 months and I had weeks where I didn’t get paid.
The problem is that I applied for an “Administrative Assistant” position and they fed me a bunch of lines about how it wasn’t available (it was NEVER available) but a management one was. It was a pyramid, with the owner getting some off everyone, and everyone else getting a piece of their lackey’s pie. I’ll admit, I eventually had people under me, but they always found out on day 1 how it was a bad idea.
How we got around the normal telemarketing stuff was that we sold Golf passes to courses throughout the country (mainly the east coast, and some in Ohio). We would call businesses (and businesses only), ask to speak to the golfers there (because every business has golfers working) and we sell them these passes (free greens fees with cart rental, bogo greens fees, etc). We had sheets from an online phonebook to the area where our pass was that basically had hundreds of phone numbers each on them, and they were given out randomly to different people daily. You never got the same course/area 2 days in a row, and you always dialed 1000 numbers a day, if not more. You always had to re-learn the deal every day, since each thing was different. I was told once by another telemarketer that the courses we were selling were crap and everyone knew it. We never called in our area, it was always Tennesee, Florida, or Ohio. We even did road trips to sell passes to business by walking in the door (our boss always said we weren’t soliciting, but offering a service). I made 2 trips (one to Ohio and another to Tenn) before I finally quit after 6 months. I remember ending a week on a Friday night still calling at 10pm with no sales for the week and crying on the way home (remember: no sales = no money at all!) I had 3 weeks of no pay check (but I still drove the 45 mins drive to and from every day, still being there, still working) and alot of weeks of $75 paychecks (just covering gas & food for the week). Yes, I sucked, but I still had hope.
The worst part was we were calling on the phone, but we still had to be at work at 7:30am Mon-Fri in SUITS or shirt/tie/slacks. We had “Spirit Meetings” every morning, were we stood in a circle, clapped, sang, all this stuff to get “pumped up” and for the people with great days the day before (10+ sales for the day) to say now they did it (it was NEVER luck, but skill). We NEVER talked about a bad call, regardless of how bad. We just hung up, dialed another number, and moved on. Lunch was mainly eating in the office, since leaving was discouraged unless necessary. I had so many co-workers leave and go on to better things with-in weeks, if not days, but there were people there who were there forever and didn’t plan on leaving, because they believed in the product, which was lame. There were no days off during the week, no benefits, none of that. The guy above me made a ton of money, but then again he was good at snowing people over. Me, I’m an honest joe.
It was worse then one of the many hotels I’ve worked at where the owners were living on-site in a room and tried to LITERALLY kill each other (a married couple) almost every other week. One time, she almost had him, and I watched her do it. lol
Brad Beckelheimer
I worked for a bagel place. Something was always going wrong. Equipment, less-than-intelligent employees, etc. I once worked 17 days in a row without a day off. Three years I spent at this job, during college. The real reason that this is my worst job is that in my last months at this job I had an accident. While making the bagel dough a compression ram smashed off my middle finger (a third of it anyway). So now everytime a I give someone the finger…the bagel place gives me the finger right back!
Southpaw
I did account receivable for GP which lasted about a year. Hated it. So boring just keying in batches of monies received. Sat in a cubicle and everything. This was right around the time when Office Space came out so that movie resonated with me in every way.
Taylor Carlson
My worst job was working at a record store in a record store in my local outlet mall. I live in Las Vegas, so needless to say, we got a lot of tourists, and this took its toll on me.
First and foremost, we got a plethora of customers that didn’t even speak English. Yes, the majority of them were Spanish speakers, but we literally got people from all four corners of the world. Believe me, it’s NOT easy to communicate with people who don’t speak your language.
On top of that, customers asked me questions I was never trained on. We had a small section of electronic devices (ipod chargers, headphones, plugs, etc.), and just about every customer that came into the store asked questions about them. This is stuff I was NEVER trained on. I had one guy from Australia ask me if his car would be able to use one of these American iPod converters. How the hell can ANY person be expected to know this!?
On top of that my manager was a dick. The guy was always looking over my shoulder and made me feel extremely uncomfortable. Prior to this, I had worked at Tower Records, where everyone was passionate about music. But this was a cold, sterile environment where everyone was clearly just there for a paycheck and nothing more.
It only took 2 months for me to quit this job. I ran away from that store and have never looked back.
Shayne Blakeley
Salvaged goods grocery store. Imagine sorting through pallets of rotten eggs and rotten potatoes searching for the handful that are usable. Mixing broken bags of dog food together in a massive gondola. Covering up expiration dates on taco Lunchables. You might be surprised how rancid smelling Faygo Red Pop gets in the summer sun, not to mention most of the customers. The store was owned by my grandparents, and I was eventually fired (thank god) because my grandmother found my book of Nietzsche on the break table, of course opened it up to “The Antichrist” and proceeded to tell me I have no soul. We haven’t spoken again in 15 years.
hammer
Gas station attendant. 3AM start shifts, cleaning toilets, etc… all for 7 bucks an hour (Canadian) at 16 years old… doing 3AM shifts on weekends at 16 is social suicide!
Nick
KFC because they were always mad at you no matter how fast you were
Dusty
Ok, so my worst job ever was none other than Chuck E. Cheese. So here’s the scoop:
In this particular location, there were three managers. All three managers where named Steve. It was an unholy mess. Especially since they HATED each other. So not only did I have to deal with wearing a god awful red outfit and great all of these families (some of which I knew…ugh) at the door, I had to do it at the behest of the trio of Steve’s who spent their days hitting on mothers and engaging in psychological warfare with one another.
And don’t get me started about wearing the suit. That brings up bad memories.
Tim
Here’s mine.
As a student in high school, I worked at a marina gas bar. Sounds pretty good right? Sun, girls in boats, etc. That part was good.
The bad part was the “maintenance” of the public washrooms next to my gas shack. Every so often I’d have to go in there and “deal” with some unholy mess. I swear that some people have aliens inside them, but I digress.
The worst part happened one summer evening. I was working the pump-out (the machine that pumps out the…crap…from boats equipped with portable toilets. My manager just happened to be visiting at the time as well. As I used the machine to pump out the boat, I heard a loud bang and a whooshing sound. I turned to look — as did many curious tourists nearby waiting go on a scenic boat tour — as a ten-foot spray of green feces exploded out of a ventilation shaft in the roof of the washroom.
After the fountain of filth had dispersed, I looked at my manager and remarked: “I guess we’d better call a plumber.” He just looked at me, and then glanced at my mop and bucket. I quit shortly after.
Dave
In college I worked for a tux rental company, between cleaning the dirty shoes, the Bridezillas, people who waited until the day before the wedding to rent a tux and having brides throw suits back at me after shouting that the wedding was ruined because a cuff link was missing. By the time I left the job I swore I would never have a big wedding, which I didn’t, I ended up using the money I saved and got married on a beach in Hawaii…
Bryan Lazarony
My first official job was at a local Six Flags. At the time it felt like a dream come true (cmon, I was 15 at the time) to be able to work at an amusement park. I got zero amusement out of that job. Usually your supervisor was a senior in high school and they would treat the job as if they were kings of the world (give me a break, you made $1 more an hour than me, a 15 year old food service employee).
The job was a drag because Six Flags doesn’t know how to manage their people. I worked the 10AM to 4PM shift, but normally I wouldn’t be able to leave til around 6PM because they would never send me a replacement. One time I was there as late as 9PM on a 10AM shift and I said “f this,” and just walked away from the booth and went home.
I got a nice phone call the next day about leaving the booth without taking the money out of the register. I eventually quit when a manager went berserk on me for reporting that a stand’s refrigeration unit died. I just started my shift and came over to the unit that was busted, so as I was supposed to, I reported it. They guy started throwing crap around and ranting like hell, so I just walked away and left; never went back to the park again (even to go on the rides).
Mike
About a year after I graduated from college I took an unpaid internship because it was such a challenge finding a real job. The internship was at a talent agency here in Chicago, one that reps some familiar faces, if not big names. I figured it’d be a good experience, especially since my degree was in film and I wanted to be a writer.
I lasted all of two days. The agent was this middle-aged woman with a stick up her butt. About what, I don’t know. One of my tasks, as I was instructed by her assistant on my first day, was to open and sort the mail. So, on the second day I come in, sit behind the front desk and begin to open and sort the mail. The agent walks in, looks at me and says hello, then passes through to her office. Not long after, I hear her talking to her assistant (through the open door, not even attempting to keep her voice down), complaining about me “reading” her mail as if I were some snoop. That’s when I realized I wasn’t cut out for this. I had too much pride to play this woman’s games.
This is where I’d like to tell you that I told her what she could do with this internship before storming out right then and there, but I didn’t. Instead of being angry in the moment, I was more surprised and hurt. So I waited a little while, went to lunch, then told the assistant I had to leave early for a dentist appointment. I never went back. And my only regret is that I ever took the position in the first place. What a miserable woman.
Richard Gonzales
The worst job I ever had was being a cameraman for the adult entertainment industry. They would not allow you to get an erection while filming because it would be disrespectful for the female performers!!!!well i got fired a few days later for getting constant erections.
Brad Pipkins
When you’re out of a job, the classified section of your local paper is your friend and enemy. I responded to an ad for “Outlet Managers,” thinking since I had retail and sales experience I’d be a shoe-in. I got dressed as professionally as possible and went for my interview. My interviewer wore khaki shorts and a popped-collar polo shirt. Needless to say, I felt over-dressed.
The interview went well. I wasn’t told what I’d be doing if I got the job, but that I’d be bringing in at least $400/week minimum. I received a call later that evening telling me I got the position. I was told to show up at 7am at the same building I was interviewed in. Sweet!
So I’m sitting there in the conference room with all the other people that were hired, when I asked where the restroom was. As I’m walking back to the facilities, I couldn’t help but notice vacuums. A lot of them. That was the first sign. The second sign was a given, with the big words “KIRBY” printed on a sign overhead of the vacuums.
I got back to the conference room and sat there, not knowing what to do next. Could it be that this was an office building that housed a few different business? Come to find out, no, it wasn’t. Just Kirby Vacuums. What’s worse? The schedule they had laid out on the magic erase board was literally “Dawn to Dusk, Monday-Saturday.”
I pulled the interviewer aside, told him that I felt I was mislead and that this wasn’t for me. Expecting him to be professional (the khaki’s should’ve been the hint), I instead got a “Whatever, dude,” and he walked away. I walked out the door and never looked back. I received a check a few weeks later for $14 for the 2 hours I was there. At least I got a couple of value meals out of it.
Freddy
I was 16 in 1985 and an old guy down the road from us raised livestock. My dad made me start working for the guy, and not having better options I took the job. I live in Louisville, so there were distilleries all around and this guy had a contract to take excess rye and grain and use them for feed. So, we got to Early Times distillery and he handed me a shovel. I had to climb down in the bins, brace myself against the wall and scrape the damp grains off the metal walls. It was summer and about 95 degrees. The temperature coupled with all the dust and mold flying around was almost overwhelming. I was shoveling for awhile and the guy yells at me “You doin’ OK?”. I looked up and the guys who were NOT in the bin had masks on looking at me. I’m IN the bin, with no mask (none was offered). By the time I got home after four hours, I was coughing and hacking up all this nasty shit out of my lungs. I decided my dumb ass had better go out and get something else, because I figured I’d be dead in a week. 🙂 Oh, here’s the kicker….I was paid $15 for that four hour ordeal. Needless to say, I didn’t go back for round two the next day. Worst job I ever had.
triguous
After working 4 years at Target, I interviewed for the Team Lead of Music and Movies, which I was already doing by the way, minus the pay raise and benefits, of course. When asked how much of my work day was planned and how much was spur-of-the-moment decision making, I answered, to put it shortly, about fifty-fifty. Apparently, the Store Manager disagreed, telling me, “I do so much planning sometimes that I don’t even finish any work.” My reply was simple. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” Not only did I not get the promotion, but my hours were cut from 40 to 4 per week, and I was forced to quit. Good times.
Brian Hoier
I worked at a large dept store in the electronics dept. It was okay for a while, but then we got a new manager. I have worked numerous retail jobs over the years (along with several professional careers – I am a teacher who needs the second job to stay above the poverty line) and never once had I been reprimanded or written up. I never called in sick, never late, nothing. Suddenly this new douche of a manager gets a little power and it goes straight to his head. We were getting yelled at for not selling warranties, not selling accessories (overpriced cables, etc.) the right way (the tv MUST come first, THEN the cables, or you don’t get credit). Finally he decided in his infinite wisdom to write us up if our customers did not call in those annoying surveys on the receipt AND give us a perfect 100 score. I tried explaining that I had no control over what they do once they leave the store, and that 90 is pretty damn good. Like teaching calculus to a spastic gerbil in heat. I finally told him where to stick his paperwork and quit. I would have KILLED for a boss like Michael Scott.
besch64
I’ve only ever had one job (restaurant gig), and it’s actually pretty good. But I’d really like to win this, so I’m going to say may stint as a horse masturbator for a breeding ranch was pretty lame.
Philip
When I was in my early twenties I took a job refinishing a residential driveway. I was told that it would stink, quite literally! The older gentleman that hired me said it was all done manually, mixing the blacktop, pouring and spreading it. He told me to wear some old clothing I didn’t mind getting soiled and could just throw away afterwards. The smell was overwhelming to say the least. I was paid ok, and even told I did well for my first time, I was even asked if I wanted to work with him again. So I thanked him for the opportunity and the pay, but declined. He wasn’t surprised and replied with, it’s not for everyone. It was definitely an experience.
Jason Kelm
It was my senior year in high school and I was a waiter at a local Big Boy restaurant, which you’d think that in itself would be bad enough but I got worse. So, if you’ve ever done waitering or had a friend who has, I’m sure they can attest to how much the job sucks. It’s a glorified “I-can-treat-you-like-my-bitch” position with low pay and shotty tips, depending on the restaurant. Since I waitered at a local chain restaurant in a small town, you already know how great the tips were. Anyway, one rainy (and yes this will be important later. it’s irony) Sunday, I wait on 3 old folks. Which I have nothing against them. Granted they have exactly in mind what they want and if you fail to meet their standards, then your tip goes with them and their mothball scent. So with these folks, did all I could to at least get some tip and take care of them. I didn’t detect any problems with our time together, they didn’t complain, open-and-shut case for at least getting a quarter. Nope. However (and here’s where the irony does kick in), I was left a tip in the form of a soiled wet bench, which I got to wipe down. Thanks (bows)
David
I worked at a bank for three years before I decided to quit and attend medical school. The career change is a dramatic story unto itself but it’s the misery of the job that inspired me make the change. If you’ve ever watched Office Space, that is exactly what my day to day life was like. It seems far fetched but the Bill Lumberg character was an exact replica of my boss named Bob. And it was true that if I screwed up, I heard about it from at least 3 different bosses, if not five. The only enjoyment I received was relishing the similarities with the movie and the absurdity of being berated by four different bosses for not using the correct cover sheet!
tristan Lopez
My worst job was when I was working part time for a rubber making company, I would Mix and mold and even color the rubber which was pretty tough/hot work as well as carrying the bags of mix from the trucks. Then only to find out I was making Rubber dildo’s errm……8.55 was not worth the hassle. And I was only 18 at the time. what’s worse was being told we could buy the mis-shaped broken ones at a discount if we liked… never again
Lone_gunmen
Worked for a direct sales group for a month as a “private contractor” doing commission-only door to door sales. The advertisement online was misleading and the pay structure was misleading, and they took 30% of each sale as a “security bond”. They’d stand in a group and talk about “goals” and tried to act like businessmen despite them being hawkers, and used to clap and what not. Quit it last month, only lasted 3 weeks before I had enough with how dodgy everything was and I left.
Lone_gunmen
Oh don’t count me in this, I just wanted to rant about that awful job.