Welcome one and all to a special edition of Movie Madness. After extensive thought about how James Bond, much like Batman, has had many different incarnations over the years, I’ve decided to give you a special playoff to see which Bond will enter the Movie Madness tournament. As you may notice, the banner picture above features the five most popular Bonds. Don’t worry, completists – George Lazenby has been included in the poll as well.
A lot of people have been clamoring for a Bond playoff. After all, as the Bonds have changed throughout the years, so have their style, suaveness, and butt-kicking abilities.
Sean Connery Bond – He gains points for being the first actor to portray James Bond in film with ‘Dr. No’. He stayed on to do a total of six official Bond films, only interrupted in 1969 by George Lazenby in ‘On Her Majesty’s Secret Service’. Connery returned two years later for a last hurrah in ‘Diamonds Are Forever’, and revisited the character once again in 1983 for the unofficial Bond film ‘Never Say Never Again‘. In an unrelated note, I believe that Sean Connery has only had two looks his entire life. He was the smooth debonair Bond, and after he was done with those movies, he aged 50 years and has been bearded Connery ever since. It’s almost like he skipped middle age entirely.
Strengths: Some will say that as the original Bond, he’s by default the best. He also had a wicked reach around karate chop that could incapacitate any would-be henchman.
Weaknesses: Was never much of a fighter. He was more of a lover. In a battle to the death, that aspect might come back to haunt him.
Strengths: Longevity. He could simply outlast everyone else.
Weaknesses: He made Bond look like a middle-aged oil tycoon. That’s not a good look for the world’s most famous spy.
Timothy Dalton Bond – I may give George Lazenby a lot of crap for only being Bond once, but Dalton seemed just as much like filler material. He only starred in two Bond movies, one of which – when adjusted for inflation – happens to be the lowest grossing in the franchise’s history.
Strengths: It’s said that Dalton was determined to stick to the character Ian Fleming meant Bond to be, which gives him points for being a purist.
Weaknesses: Never seemed like that imposing of a force as Bond. To me, he isn’t memorable, and his films are the ones I think of last when I think of any Bond movies.
Pierce Brosnan Bond – No matter what anyone says, I still think that Brosnan was the best Bond. It was the movies that got away from him. The movies became so comical and over the top (much like the ‘Batman’ franchise) that even Brosnan’s smooth charm couldn’t distract from the fact that they had invisible cars and ice palaces.
Strengths: He oozed charisma and had a great blend of lady-killing charm and deadly henchman-killing accuracy.
Weaknesses: Truthfully, I don’t know if Brosnan’s Bond had any real weaknesses. He’s considered the actor who brought Bond down into unintentionally funny territory, but again I’d argue that was a byproduct of the ridiculous scripts and villains he was surrounded with.
Daniel Craig Bond – Craig is a 21st century Bond: rippling abs, cut biceps, and a steely ice blue glare. It’s like he stepped right out of a cologne commercial, put on a tux, and started drinking shaken martinis. Oh wait, I forgot, he was so cool that he didn’t even care how his martini was prepared.
Strengths: With all those rippling muscles, he’s by far the most kick-butt Bond of them all. He’s like a hybrid of James Bond and Jason Bourne.
Weaknesses: After ‘Quantum of Solace’, Craig seemed to become even more Bourne than Bond. He lost that witty charisma and bravado that Bond is known for, and has instead been turned into just another action hero. He may win in a fight, but is he truly the best Bond?
Which Bond Will Be Moving on to the Tournament?
- Sean Connery (37%, 105 Votes)
- Daniel Craig (25%, 70 Votes)
- Pierce Brosnan (23%, 64 Votes)
- Timothy Dalton (9%, 25 Votes)
- George Lazenby (Seriously?) (4%, 10 Votes)
- Roger Moore (2%, 7 Votes)
- Barry Nelson (Look it up) (0%, 1 Votes)
- David Niven / Peter Sellers / Woody Allen (0%, 1 Votes)
Total Voters: 283
Because this is a special edition and a lot of people are going to want to make their voices heard, this poll will be open until Friday’s Movie Madness article is posted. I’ll announce the winner then.