I was surprised that the Graboid handled Gweomul so easily in Tuesday’s Monster Madness battle. In the other match, Stripe’s smarts proved too much for the prehistoric Dilophosaurus. We’re getting close to the end of the first round. Today, we’ll see if the Xenomorph Queen can take on a Giant Ant, and what happens when a Critter faces a C.H.U.D.

I didn’t include a regular-sized Xenomorph in the tournament because I wanted to put the Queen in instead. It was one or the other, and I chose the huge one. In the other corner is a Giant Ant. I have my suspicions about which monster will win this match, but let’s play along for fun, shall we?

Xenomorph Queen – Imagine this thing bearing down on you. It’s huge, but just as agile and deadly as its smaller spawn. As much as I really hate ‘Alien vs. Predator‘, I have to admit that when the queen is revealed at the end, sitting through that crappy movie finally becomes worthwhile, just a little.

Strengths: She’s around 20-feet tall and possesses all the agility and deadly ferociousness of the smaller, more compact versions.

Weaknesses: The Queen can still be outsmarted by her foes.

Giant Ant – Damn those nuclear weapons. They’re always creating gigantic monsters out of such harmless things. In ‘Them!’ some ants get a heavy dose of radiation and turn into city-crushing insects.

Strengths: Well, since a small ant can lift ten times its own weight, imagine the kind of strength an ant three stories tall has. Plus, those mandibles will crunch down on anything.

Weaknesses: Like so many other monsters, fire is a big weakness. Also, really big boots.

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I wonder if this is a fair fight, seeing that Critters are always successful in large numbers. I guess what you have to decide here is whether this is like the Killer Birds scenario, or are just one Critter and one C.H.U.D. battling it out? I’d prefer a small group of Critters, but that’s totally up to you.

Critter – These ravenous eaters are completely carnivorous. They’re like tiny, furry land piranhas. They’ll devour anything with meat on its bones and rarely leave anything behind.

Strengths: Besides their insatiable appetite for meat, they can also shoot poisonous barbs at their enemies, have rows of sharp teeth, and can roll up into destructive balls.

Weaknesses: Conventional weaponry if wielded by intelligent foes.

C.H.U.D. – The full name of these mutated sewer-dwelling monstrosities is Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers. They’ve mutated due to contact with radioactive material, and now they crave human flesh. After eating all the homeless people, they set their sights on city-dwellers.

Strengths: Their hunger drives them, but they don’t have much more strength than an actual human. Just think of them as slightly more intelligent zombies.

Weaknesses: Also can be killed with everyday weapons.

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