We’ve finished the first round of Monster Madness! It’s time to move onto the second round today. This is where the decisions get tougher and the match-ups get all the more exciting.
First off, I’d like to offer a quick apology. Monster Madness has been on a brief hiatus the last couple of weeks. I had a family emergency and couldn’t get any work done during that time. Then the holiday season hit, which pushed back the tournament a bit more. Finally, here we are, ready to get the second round of bloody monster mayhem cranked into full gear.
Now here’s an interesting match-up. Both of these monsters are city-wrecking behemoths that don’t seem to be phased by gunfire, missiles or any other conventional weaponry that human armies can throw at them. One lays waste to the Tokyo skyline while the other takes out Manhattan with brutal destruction.
Colverfield – It’s said, or at least hinted at (I can’t really remember), in the movie that the Cloverfield monster is just a baby. This triggers the obvious question: What the hell would an adult Cloverfield look like? Either way, he’s a monster with immense power who can surely put up a fight against Godzilla.
Tools of the Trade: Besides being a gigantic roaring destructo-machine, Cloverfield also unleashes blood-sucking parasites. Could an army of those monster fleas be the difference maker in a battle against the mighty Godzilla?
Godzilla – He’s probably the most famous movie monster. Godzilla has lived through numerous eras of cinema, destroying every concrete structure that he comes into contact with. So many years of terror, so many smushed Tokyo citizens.
Tools of the Trade: Godzilla boasts enormous power and strength, but also has a trick up his reptilian sleeve. Nuclear fire! That’s right, he can breathe nuclear fire. That’s pretty badass.
Cloverfield vs. Godzilla
- Godzilla (74%, 52 Votes)
- Cloverfield (26%, 18 Votes)
Total Voters: 70
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Huh. Now here’s a match-up I never thought would take place. A demonically possessed children’s doll battles an evil telekinetic tire. This one should be interesting.
Chucky – I saw ‘Child’s Play’ at far too young an age. I cowered in fear as my once beloved My Buddy doll stared at me from across the room after the lights went out. It was an unnerving feeling to think that your doll could come to life and murder you.
Tools of the Trade: Sporting a healthy dose of Satanic mojo, Chucky uses any type of weaponry to dispatch his victims. Mostly, he’s just really freaky.
Tire – It can cause your head to explode just by thinking about it. One wonders how the tire thinks without a brain, but there you go. However, you have to question its ability here. Tire has only been shown to explode living heads. Chucky’s head is plastic. Will Tire’s deadly trick work here?
Tools of the Trade: Telekinesis and serious road tread.
Chucky vs. Tire
- Chucky (65%, 42 Votes)
- Tire (35%, 23 Votes)
Total Voters: 65
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William Henley
Considering Godzilla has only lost twice in the Godzilla vs movies (according to a quick Google search), I got to go with Godzilla here.
The other match is, well, okay, come on, how did Tire even make it past round 1?
EM
Match 1: Godzilla breath.
Match 2: I seem to remember the tire exploding a metal can. I don’t see why a plastic head should pose a problem.
Josh Zyber
Cloverfield is a poser. Godzilla is the real deal. Easy choice there.
It seems to me that Chucky is frequently seen holding a sharp knife that would be perfect for puncturing tires.
Aaron Peck
Good point Josh, but as an unmounted tire, air isn’t needed at all.
EM
Well, you let the air out of his tires!
Also, knives are less effective when their wielders—or the knives themselves—are first detonated from afar.
William Henley
Yes, but you can do more with a knife than PUNCTURE a tire. You can SLASH the tire as well. A good swipe with the knife, and you no longer have a round tire, but a bunch of rubber laying on the side of the road, just like a big rig that lost its tread. Come on, there really is no competition here – Chucky should win this one easily.
EM
Another thing you can do with a knife is drop it when your head explodes.
Josh Zyber
Ah, but as a doll, Chucky can just swap his damaged head for another one. 🙂
EM
And Robert can reincarnate as a tricycle plus a horde of tires and run over Chucky’s feeble attempts.
William Henley
Ah, if we are going to go into reincarnations, than we have a stalemate, as Chucky can reincarnate as well.
EM
As multiple entities simultaneously?
Martin
The Tire`s name is Robert.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1612774
EM
Oui, c’est un bon jeu de mots.
http://www.highdefdigest.com/blog/monster-madness-2012-tankerbug-blob-tire-belial/#comment-28988
EvilResident
The tire vs chucky one is tough. I remember both being more or less indestructible.