Recently, the Hasbro toy company decided to celebrate its decision to pay Michael Bay to make those awful ‘Transformers’ movies by inducting Bay into a sham awards show called the Transformers Hall of Fame. What a coincidence that this comes just in time to promote Hasbro and Bay’s upcoming third movie, ‘Transformers: Turn Off the Dark’ (or something like that). Somewhere, an Autobot sheds a tear.
Hers’s a shamelessly promotional EPK video created for the occasion:
Let’s review some of the most ridiculous highlights of this, shall we?
A Habro VP says: “Transformers are about story.”
Shia LaBeouf says: “Mike is the greatest action director alive. That’s what I personally believe. There’s not one movie he’s ever made that’s unenjoyable.” Wait a second, is this the same Shia LaBeouf who just last year was surprisingly forthright about the failings of the second ‘Transformers’ movie?
Tyrese Gibson says: “He really has a real sense of what is going on at all times, and it’s really impressive.” If Bay has a good sense of what’s going on at all times, why are the action scenes in his movies so visually incoherent?
Steven Spielberg says: “I’d like to give him credit personally for his storytelling skills and his sense of humor about the human comedy.” Oh dear lord…
Other Hasbro execs say: “His ability to get the heart of a character like an Optimus or a Bumblebee isn’t something that’s easy, and he’s really done it well.” And: “I have a lot of respect for his creative vision and what he’s been able to do with this franchise.” And applaud: “The way he drives himself to be better every time, and then to make the next project even better, having learned some things from the prior project.” Did these people not see ‘Revenge of the Fallen’?
Josh Duhamel praises Bay for, “Really respecting what fans of the Transformers loved about it.”
LaBeouf comes back with: “Transformers would be a nothing movie without Mike… He’s the brain behind everything.” That explains so much, doesn’t it?
Perhaps most hilariously of all is the part where a Hasbro rep says of Bay that, “He is immensely earnest guy.” Yup, Michael Bay earnest. That’s exactly what he’s known for – his earnestness.
[via Topless Robot]
Donat Torres
I wonder how much they got paid to say that.
Dail Whiteley
he had to use a lot of butt paste to heal up the chafing he got from all that ass kissing.
JoeRo
I’m not a big fan of LeBeouf, but both of those statements he makes are so over the top that I can only view them as sarcasm. In that light, they’re actually pretty damn harsh.
“Mike is the greatest action director alive[no he’s not]. That’s what I personally believe[no he doesn’t]. There’s not one movie he’s ever made that’s unenjoyable[this statement is actually true, buecause every movie he makes is unenjoyable].”
“Transformers would be a nothing movie without Mike… He’s the brain behind everything.” translation – The transformers movies are not my fault, and I apologize to anyone who’s ever watched them. Michael Bay literally held a gun to my head for the duration of the shoot on this movie, dear god forgive me.
Maybe I’m giving the kid too much of a pass, but hearing him speak candidly about Bay’s treatment of actresses, and what he thought about the second film just makes me think that those statements he made were coerced out of him … probably with money.
Jane Morgan
Action movies don’t market themselves.
Awards, and critical praise, are crucial.
Next week, the US Army is going to give Michael Bay a Medal of Honor.
Aaron Peck
I just want to know who else is in the Transformers Hall of Fame. Did Bay make it in before Prime or Megatron?
My favorite part is when one of them says “He also shoots vehicles phenomenally.” Ha ha ha.
Josh Zyber
AuthorIt’s pretty much just Michael Bay and Wheelie in there right now. 🙂
EM
Spielberg’s quote looks a little backhanded to me. After all, the “credit” he speaks of giving to Bay could easily be construed as blame. Furthermore, he couches the whole thing as a hypothetical statement. I’m not convinced it’s truly a compliment.