“Trilogy” Doesn’t Mean What It Used To

A lot of people out there love Michael Bay and his movies, but the guy has a history of telling half-truths or outright lies to create buzz and fill theater seats. Now he’s been caught in another one.

Back when promoting his third ‘Transformers’ installment, Bay said: “One thing we’re getting rid of is what I call the dorky comedy.” That was an obvious lie. I saw the third movie and, in regards to his statement, it was worse than the first two. ‘Dark of the Moon’ was filled with idiotic ‘bots (the “pets”) and stupid humans (Ken “Seรฑor Chang” Jeong). Bay insisted that the film would make up for the disappointing second entry, but it sure didn’t.

In those same ‘Dark of the Moon’ interviews, Bay claimed: “As a trilogy, it really ends. It could be rebooted again, but I think it has a really killer ending.” Well, that’s apparently not true either, because Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner has now announced that a fourth film is currently in the works (possibly to be filmed back-to-back with a fifth), and both Bay and Steven Spielberg are expected to return as respective director and executive producer.

True to his word, star Shia LaBeouf will not be returning to the franchise. Variety reports that the lead shoes for upcoming ‘Transformer’ movies may be filled by Jason Statham. Casting Statham leads us to the conclusion that the GMC product placement will be replaced by BMW, and that humans no longer need weapons to defeat the Decepticons. No, humans are going to learn that, under the power of Statham, they can just punch the robots out.

Who knows what Bay will claim to get us excited for the fourth movie? “The fourth was planned all along. There are easter eggs for it hidden in the previous three.” “The dorky comedy is really gone this time, I promise.” “We’ve cut CG out of the equation and hired real Transformers.” “I swear I won’t use footage from my previous movies.” No matter what he says, don’t believe a word that comes out his mouth.

There’s no word yet on when ‘Transportaformers’ will begin production or take the big screen.

Note: The purpose of this post was not to stir up more ‘Transformers’ hatred, but to show that Michael Bay can’t be trusted.

22 comments

  1. Well, I don’t know that it’s fair to call out Michael Bay on this one…how many other directors have claimed the third movie was definitely the last one (Stallone with ROCKY, Spielberg with INDIANA JONES, Donner with LETHAL WEAPON, etc.) only to return with additional sequels?

    • Yeah, but at least with those, there was a gap of time before they decided to return to the well. It was just the other month that Bay insisted that he was done with Transformers, and now he’s already signed back on.

  2. Drew

    Josh, nice job deleting my last post. You wouldn’t want the truth to be left up. Would you?

    These Bay/Transformers posts are useless. Why did the editor even allow it to go up in the first place?

    You guys are not naive. You know very well what a post like this is going to do.

    • The blog comments have the same rules as our site forum. Personal attacks and argumentative behavior will be moderated.

      Aside from our contest giveaway and a mention of the movie’s release in the weekly Blu-ray update, we haven’t had a Transformers post in months. In fact, our last negative Transformers post was in July. I asked Luke to write up a post about this news this week because it just happened.

      We have plenty of posts on other subjects if you don’t like this one.

      • Drew

        Did I comment about how many Bay/Transformers posts you have had? Did I comment about the timeframe of such posts?

        No. I didn’t.

        I could give a shit less about how many, or what timeframe the posts fall within. The fact is that Bay/Transformers posts are meant to do one thing, and one thing only. You’re not naive. You know this.

        Bay/Transformers posts are utterly pointless at this point. They stir up shit, and that’s all. There’s no use for them whatsoever.

        You know exactly what they’re going to do, and that’s why you asked him to put it up.

  3. Jane Morgan

    Michael Bay can only be trusted to do one thing. To entertain my ass off.

    Transformers 4&5 were always going to be a reboot. It’s free money.

    Now, if they could put Jason Statham in a Mech, and let him beat down epic robot ass, with titanium fistacuffs, I would buy one ticket to that.

    But, at this point, the script is not written, and Bay is not attached to direct.

    Personally, I’d like to see Michael Bay pass, and return to R-Rated Land.

  4. Douglas Adams’ “So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish” and “Mostly Harmless” are respectively touted on their covers as the fourth and fifth books of the Hitch-Hiker trilogy.

    Let’s assume that Michael Bay is as witty and satirical as Adams.

  5. Well see Bay lying is all a matter of opinion, in mine all the stupid comedy and kid humor like robots farting and shit like that WAS completely gone from Transformers 3, in no way shape or form was it worse than Transformers 2, the robot pets had a few dumb lines but that was it, it has some quirky characters, so what? That still doesnt measure up to the idiocy that ran rampant in part 2. Sorry but I strongly disagree with him lying about that.

    As far as this only being a trilogy, that stopped the instant this thing made over a billion worldwide, enough money coming in and going out for his salary will get Bay to come back, simple as that, he loves making them and has a blast doing it and they are amazing box office hits, I’ll be in that seat day one as Transformers 3 was the best summer blockbuster I’ve seen in years, plus I’m a big fan of Bay and will check out anything he does, so whatever, if Statham ends up in T4 even more reason I’ll be there day one ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Directly from Michael Bay…

    โ€œI am currently not talking to Paramount on T4 and T5 despite reports. Iโ€™m looking at a lot of possibilities coming my way right now weighing options. Most likely going to be doing the low budget Pain and Gain, a true story crime thriller. Itโ€™s a very quick shoot and quite funny. Also just finishing the 3 disc set of the Transformer trilogy.โ€

    I really think these Michael Bay/Transformers posts are ridiculous. Talk about beating a dead horse.

    • With Michael Bay, where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Give it a couple weeks for the contract negotiations to shake out, and then we’ll see what he says. I predict that he’ll start production on Transformers 4 by next summer, regardless of whatever story he’s feeding us today.

      • Jane Morgan

        I hope you’re right.

        ‘Transformers 3’ was my favorite movie of 2011.

        I’ve watched it four times, and my affection grows with each viewing.

        Scorsese was recently taking about movie love. How, when you become attached, in your formative years, to a movie/director/writer/star, that love becomes eternal and unconditional. And it can’t be reasoned with.

        As it turns out, Mr. B is the fucking love of my life.

        Bay haters, to me, are no different than homophobes and antisemites.

  7. VIOZ

    This news just broke my heart. I love watching transportation vehicles turn into autonomous robotic organisms and viceversa; I only watch those scenes in the movies over and over because I love them so much. (Does anyone else do that? I feel like I’m the only one in the world.) So when I walked out from the third one horribly dissapointed, knowing that Michael Bay was done with them and that after only five years the “Spider-man” series was being rebooted, I fancied the day I’d watch the “Transformers” movie that all the trailers promised.

    I’m gonna go kill myself now.

  8. Javier Aleman

    Bay sucks and so did the Transformer movies but they make money so they will make more. I will watch them, hate them, and then eagerly wait for a new Topless Robot faq.

  9. D

    I like the Transformers movies on a superficial level. Two was worse than the others, but I had a bunch of fun with 3 despite the long run time and Optimus pretty much being a dick. However, I was hoping to see Bay get into something else. I love so many of his movies. The Rock, The Island, the Bad Boy movies. They’re all awesome and I was hoping to get a non-transformers movie or two out of him before he inevitably went back to franchise. Still holding out hope for a Bad Boys 3, there’s a trilogy I think should happen!

  10. I must admit, I find them good fun, if nothing more. Though I must admit, despite the horrible flaws of film 2 I still thought it was better than number 3. Admittedly, I ended up seeing 3 in 3D, because there were no decent 2D showing times… And that may have marred my opinion.

    If this rumour turns out to be true, I don’t mind. I was never a big Transformers fan as a kid, so I don’t mind Bay having his fun with them. People keep saying they want a proper ‘Transformers’ movie, but chances are, these are the best you’ll get. How many serious directors better than Bay, are going to touch silly movies about big Transforming kids toys?!

    If they do make it with Statham, it would be hilarious if Bay patched things up with Megan Fox, and it turned out she left Shia for Statham! ๐Ÿ˜‰