‘The Last Ship’ 2.07 Recap: I Love It When a Plan Comes Together

If last week gun-teased us, this week submarine-battle-teases us. ‘Last Ship’, why must you torture us so? This episode is all about the balance between a well-made plan and absolutely no plan at all. Regardless, episode seven, ‘Alone and Unafraid’, is at least one of those things… and a little bit BLOODY.

I started off this episode very nervous. No one wants a whole episode about boring political crap, especially not one centered around Duck Phillips. So when Girlfriend2 thinks she can read the Prez’s body language and deduces that he’s a prisoner, we might be on to something good.

“One way or the other, we are getting the Commander-in-Chief out of here!”

Roll credits.

WOLF! Rooftop! MACHINE GUN! Starting off STRONG! Wolf is their eyes in the sky and relays the info to anyone not on radio silence. XO Jayne is holding down the Last Ship fort and coordinating with Wolf regarding an extraction point. If they wanna send out the choppa, it looks like the boat will need to motor pretty quickly to a sonar safe launch point. How long? Three hours. I hope this timing works out. START THE CLOCK!

There’s a quick break to check in on the sub. We all live in a pirate submarine! A pirate submarine! A pirate submarine! Lots of yelling, and not nearly enough singing. The yellow bellied wankers need to shut up and let the chump running the show use his puny brain. It’s not going well down here.

In an equally quick break to log a point in “The Cure” plotline: Dr. Red needs the Navy’s best engineers to set up a fish tank/PVC rat tube airborne cure tester machine. (Um, I missed the part where they stocked up on lab rats, but whatever. At least they aren’t Guatemalan monkeys.) They just drop a cup of the Measley Cure Bouillabaisse Mix in this hole, turn on the airflow and SHAZAM. Those little infected mice should be right as rain in no time!

Now, back to where the action is: the Presidential compound. The Away Team has broken up into three smaller teams: Team Radio Silence Bus Riders, Team Stolen Pickup Convoy Tailers, and Team WOLF. Team Radio Silence concocts a plan to get the Prez outta there. Team Stolen Pickup does a lot of meandering around trying to get caught, and Team WOLF sights his machine gun by looking through his scope with his chin. I guess they do things differently Down Under.

The Prez plan involves a fake bomb scare. During the mass panic, Boyfriend2 pretends to assault the Prez while the Captain protects the Prez by punching Boyfriend2 in the nose. This leads to the Prez trusting him and sorta convincing Older Bruv to put the Cap’n on Secret Service duty. Then they’re gonna get the Prez to go outside where they’ll Preznap him off to the extraction point – but not before Girlfriend2 can tease Boyfriend2 about being a weenie and his wittle bitty nose getting busted. She gives him some sugar and, while he’s distracted, snaps his nose back into place, ‘Lethal Weapon’ style.

No time for love, Boyfriend2! Team Stolen Pickup gets assigned to escort Patient Zero and his diabolical “experiment” (giving out Certain Death teddy bears soggy with infectious goo to non-Immune kids). The convoluted plan of Team Radio Silence and the lack of plan with Team Stolen Pickup creates a nice, albeit sorta herky-jerky tension in this episode. It’s a little distracting, but I’m sure things are gonna go south ANY MINUTE NOW.

But First! Dr. Red update! The Bouillabaisse Cure only works when you hose the crap out of a mouse with it at point blank range. Otherwise, you get totally dead mice. What do we do now?

Back to the plans/lack of plans! The Captain is getting the President outside. Boyfriend1 volunteers to go do the first deadly teddy handoff with some of Younger Bruv’s goons following.

The Sub is on the move and sees the Last Ship. (Let’s take the SHOT!) The Last Ship hauls ass to a safe location to launch the rescue choppa and sees the Sub. (Get the ANTI-SUBMARINE ROCKETS ready!)

Patient Zero recognizes and threatens Tex just before Boyfriend1 shoots the living daylights out of the goons. Tex handguns most of the other baddies, including blasting Patient Zero in the gut and seemingly killing Younger Bruv. Tex throws Patient Zero into a van and off they go!

The Presidential Alarms are going off and the Captain’s plan is getting derailed. He manages to get the Prez into the kitchen where Boyfriend2 and Girlfriend2 are waiting. More Immune tactical nutjobs show up. The bloodiest fight scene in all of ‘The Last Ship’ ensues. Everybody was KUNG FU STABBING!! The Captain shivs the living daylights out of his nutjob. Boyfriend2 breaks a broom handle over his opponent’s head and then stabs him in the CHEST with half of it. Girlfriend2 dispatches her baddie with FREAKING FORKS. They’re all covered in blood. Whoa.

The Sub is surfacing, chasing and sonar-ing. The Last Ship has almost reached the safety of a sonar blocking land mass. Team Radio Silence has the Prez in an SUV and is racing towards the front gate of the compound. Wolf is SNIPING mofos to clear their path. All teams make it to the extraction point before the helo, so a little bit of a MACHINE GUN ground battle goes down. The helo materializes and they narrowly escape.

Turns out, Younger Bruv isn’t dead. He just got a bit of his face and a huge chunk of his ear blasted off. He’s lookin’ rough, but doesn’t appear to be in any pain. WHA? My ear hurts just writing this. Older Bruv is furious and Younger Bruv is repeatedly and brusquely asking him “What will you do now?!?”

Well now, let’s see. No sub/destroyer showdown. No ANTI-SUBMARINE ROCKETS. No FIVE-INCH. However, Wolf did some pretty badass sniping and there was the stabbiest action scene this side of ‘The Raid’. All things considered, this episode is a worthy entry. Hopefully the show will keep up the momentum in next week’s episode!

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