Remember when supercomputer Deep Blue handed (human) chessmaster Gary Kasparov his ass back in 1997? Child’s play, that was. Chess is a straightforward game of logic and strategy. Computers haven’t been much good figuring out puns, riddles, and the subtleties of humor. Until now, anyway. IBM has built a new artificial intelligence program called Watson that is apparently ready to go head-to-head with the two greatest champions on ‘Jeopardy!’ Have these people learned nothing from the ‘Terminator’ movies, ‘The Matrix’, or any other cautionary tale about the inevitable machine apocalypse? We are totally fracked.

According to the Associate Press, Watson has already been tested against fifty past ‘Jeopardy!’ champions in trial matches. From February 14-16, it (he?) will makes its television debut against Ken Jennings (who had the show’s longest winning streak) and Brad Rutter (who has won the most money). The prize is $1 million. Jennings and Rutter have both pledged to give half the money to charity if either of them wins. Watson will no doubt use it to build a robot exoskeleton and plasma rifle.

If, like me, you’re thinking that the computer can just connect to wi-fi and Google the answers to the game questions, IBM claims that won’t be the case. Watson will only be able to access whatever information its creators load into its data banks.

Here’s a video where the company brags about its accomplishment:

Do you think it’s intentional that Watson’s physical display looks like K.I.T.T.’s front grill from ‘Knight Rider’? Is that supposed to make us feel better about this?