I feel like the lack of a contest broke our momentum last week. Let’s try to get things back on track today with a giveaway for the action-packed ‘G.I. Joe: Retaliation’, starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Bruce “The Paper” Willis. This three disc set contains a Blu-ray, a Blu-ray 3D, a DVD, an UltraViolet Digital Copy and a lenticular slipcover. (I know what you’re thinking: “Oooooooh, slipcover.”) This movie’s got plenty of shootin’, lots of ‘splosions, and high-flying ninja action leaping off the screen in three dimensions. And it can be yours for free. Yo Joe!!
Largely ignoring the awfulness of its predecessor (the inane ‘Rise of Cobra’) ‘G.I. Joe: Retaliation‘ is practically more reboot than sequel. That’s a good thing, and a step in the right direction. This is the first time that the G.I. Joe franchise has actually appeared on screen in recognizable form.
To win a copy of the Blu-ray, all you have to do is participate in our photo caption contest by giving us a funny or clever caption for the following image. Click to enlarge:
For example: “For the last time, guys, this is how you delete the porn from your internet browsing history.”
We have one slightly used copy of the Blu-ray to give away. (Sorry, no shrink wrap on this one, but all the contents are in good shape.) The winner will be chosen at our own subjective discretion based on whichever responses we enjoy the most. Entries are limited to 10 per person. That should give you plenty of opportunity to craft a good submission, but will also help us to avoid any potential appearance of awarding prizes based on volume rather than quality. (Please heed this limit. You will be taken out of consideration if you submit more than 10 entries.) All entries must be submitted in the Comments section of this blog post. Please do not attempt to email them to me.
This contest is only open to entrants from the domestic United States. We will not ship internationally (whether you’re a U.S. citizen or not). Employees of High-Def Digest or Internet Brands and their families are not eligible. Standard contest rules and conditions apply. People who have won any of our previous contests within the past one year are also not eligible to win, but may get Honorable Mentions.
The deadline for entry is Friday, August 2nd. The winners will be announced the following week. Good luck!
Timcharger
“The internet is GROSS! It’s filled with perverts! Look here…
…I was patriotically typing, ‘Cobra Sucks Ass’ and look what came up!”
“Is that the cobra? What is she doing?? Who’s ass is that???”
“Hey, send me that link.”
Mr Apollo
The Rock nervously watches. He grips his hands so tight the blood stops flowing and they go numb. He is starting to sweat from his head. He hopes no one else notices the odor from his armpits as they begin to moisten and smell.
There are two other people in the room staring at a monitor. What transpires on the screen are images that are too much to bare.
Tooth Fairy – Starring Dwayne Johnson
Mr Apollo
^It does matter…
David Staschke
“Wow… does Miley Cyrus really think this is how to be sexy?”
Lord Bowler
“This movie “Rocks” because I’m in it!”
“Don’t worry, most of you will be written out of the sequel except for me and Bruce and maybe Adrianne.”
“Welcome to Fast and Furious GI Joe, Part 1”
“Rock: I make this look good!”
“I told you this abandoned warehouse has power, high-speed Internet, and access to multiple top-secret satellites!”
David Staschke
The director shouting from off camera: “Ok, guys. Just stare intently at those green screens on the monitors and we’ll fill in the plot holes later.”
David Staschke
In order to get the self-centered actors to stay focused, the crew placed mirrors on the computer screens.
Aaron McKee
“Google search, The Rock Marvel DC casting rumors.”
“Nothing.”
“Dwayne Johnson Marvel DC casting rumors.”
“Nothing.”
“Dwayne The Rock Johnson Marvel DC casting rumors.”
“Nothing.”
“Dwayne The Rock Johnson superhero casting rumors.”
“Something…”
“Great. What is it?”
“The Tooth Fairy 2.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Wait, The Tooth Fairy 2 or The Tooth Fairy Part 2? Cos if it’s Part 2 then you know they’re taking it seriously.”
“Just The Tooth Fairy 2.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
Aaron McKee
“What’s this thing called?”
“XBox Kinect.”
“What’s it do?”
“I think it… connects us.”
“You mean, we’re related?”
Aaron McKee
“I followed the three steps, but it’s still not working.”
“Let’s go through them together. Let’s find what you’re doing wrong.”
“Okay. 1. Cut a hole in a box. 2. Put your junk in that box. 3. Make her open the box. And that’s the way you do it. It’s your dick in a box.”
“Yeah, you kinda need a dick.”
“Oh, I thought I was the box.”
Isaac
1) Jaye: “Hey boss, I think you’ll want to take a look at this.”
Rock: “What is it?”
Jaye: “Pictures of you in a blue satin fairy costume. I don’t how to tell you this, boss, but they’re… they’re everywhere, boss.”
Rock: “I knew this day would come. Joes, initiate Ghost Protocol.”
Jaye: “Not our movie, boss.”
Rock: “Really?”
Jaye: “Nope, sorry, boss.”
2) After hours of intensive YouTube research, the Rock remains infuriated by his inability to complete the Gangnam Style dance.
3) Jaye: Hey boss, remember when you were in Doom?”
Rock: (after a long silence) “No.”
4) Wait, why didn’t we get super-suits?
5) Jaye: “For someone who has been in three different movies with ‘Fast’ in the title, it’s taking a really long time for you to learn not to keep downloading MacKeeper.”
6) The shell-shocked Joes take a moment of silence to honor their fallen comrade after finishing The Vow on Netflix.
Aaron McKee
“Okay. This is Dwayne’s salary for GI Joe: Retaliation. And this is how much we’re getting paid. And this is how much money Grumpy Cat’s owner is making.”
“That’s it, I’m changing my name to Grumpy Rock.”
Barsoom Bob
I don’t Dwayne, are you sure you and Vin didn’t make a movie called “Hot Tub Bromance” while you guys were down in Rio ?
Barsoom Bob
That should be ” I don’t know Dwayne ,” said the terrible typist apologetically.
Mr Apollo
June 2012, Universal Studios Post Production 3d conversion:
The Rock: We don’t know what the hell we’re doing. One of you needs to call Universal and say we’re gonna need another year to do this.
Josh Zyber
Author^ Would be better if it said Paramount. 🙂
Jeremy R
“Adrienne, this is the eighth time you’ve watched the Marvel panel video from Comic Con.”
“But it’s Tom Huddleston! LOKI! LOKI! LOKI!”
Chaz Dumbaugh
Good lord Dwayne, you used to look like THAT?
Like What?
All oiled up, in tights and hugging guys?
YEAH SO, WHAT OF IT?
Uh….nothing man, please dont hurt me….
Csm101
Lets make our own viral, we’ll call it “Two Joes and a Cup”.
Mr Apollo
June 2012, Paramount Studios Post Production 3d conversion:
The Rock: We don’t know what the hell we’re doing. One of you needs to call Paramount and say we’re gonna need another year to do this.
😀
Timcharger
“I know it’s hard to believe, but here look…
…Snake Eyes’ face mask used to have lips!”
John
Yes, they really did make and release this movie. (watching the first GI JOE)
Bastiens Mum
“Right. Staring Skype contest against Cobra to decide face of the world. Don’t frickin’ blink.”
Evan Withrow
Josh can write all the blog entries he wants about constant image height stuff, but I will never understand it…
Jonathan Doan
I get those kind of stares a lot. I can sympathize with Josh. 🙂
Csm101
Perpetually flexed Roadblock is upset that no one is paying attention to him, and focused on the monitors.
Csm101
After viewing the dailies, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson thinks to himself, “Maybe I should go back to wrestling”.
Mark
huh, that guy from furious6 wears the same skin tight shirts as you…
Peter Whitney
I thought I put a parental lock on all Rocky Maivia videos and pictures
Larry D
So you guys watching Magic Mike again?
Peter Whitney
Do I have to lay the smackdown on your roody poo candy asses?
Peter Whitney
Let’s go Cena!
Cena sucks!
The Rock says get back to work
Juan
Wait…this is going to Rick Roll right. That can’t be Cobra Commander. He looks like a vacuum cleaner.