Yes, we’re really doing this. We’re giving away the ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ sequel ‘Fifty Shades Darker‘ on Blu-ray. Don’t pretend you’re not curious.
I’m not going to lie, when first offered this particular movie to use as a contest prize, a fair amount of debate arose as to whether it fit the demographics of our site. To hell with that, I say. I bet some of our readers would relish the chance to watch and mock it ironically… especially if it’s free! Even if you don’t enjoy it, you can always give it away and inflict the suffering on someone else afterwards.
Also, if I’m not mistaken, the movie promises boobies and butts. That’s got to be worth something.
“How can I win this glorious prize?” you ask. All you have to do is participate in our photo caption contest by giving us a funny or clever caption for the following image. Click to enlarge:
For example: “You were so right. We’re definitely not going to want to show our faces in public again after this fiasco.”
Go ahead, do your worst.
We have two copies of the Blu-ray to give away. The winners will be chosen at our own subjective discretion based on whichever responses we enjoy the most. Entries are limited to 10 per person. That should give you plenty of opportunity to craft a good submission, but will also help us to avoid any potential appearance of awarding prizes based on volume rather than quality. (Please heed this limit. You will be taken out of consideration if you submit more than 10 entries.) All entries must be submitted in the Comments section of this blog post. Please do not attempt to email them to me.
This contest is only open to entrants from the domestic United States. We will not ship internationally (whether you’re a U.S. citizen or not). Employees of High-Def Digest or Internet Brands and their families are not eligible. Standard contest rules and conditions apply. People who have won any of our previous contests within the past one year are also not eligible to win, but may get Honorable Mentions.
The deadline for entry is end of day on Thursday, May 11th. The winners will be announced the following week. Good luck!
Bill McClain
If you were Tom and I were Nicole, if this was a Kubrick film, and if you’d just FORGET THE DAMN CUFFS…
NJScorpio
1 – “I thought you said you were into kinky stuff, like role playing.”
“I am, but…”
“Hoot hoot, baby. Got any mice for mommy?”
“This isn’t really sexy.”
“Who’s a bad boy? Have you been polluting?”
“Stop.”
“Are you my wizard, baby?”
NJScorpio
2 – “After what happened yesterday, I’m not letting go of your hand until we are done filming. I know you don’t care about your contract, but I don’t get paid unless we finish shooting!”
NJScorpio
3 – After criticisms that the last ’50 Shades’ movie wasn’t ‘dark’ enough, franchises merge and Anastasia Steele beings pursuing Zack Snyder’s Bruce Wayne.
She leaves him when he insists on calling her Martha.
Csm101
Anastasia: “Put that champagne down, champagne is for closers only!”
Warner
“You mean you are not James Spader?! And this is not The Secretary sequel?!” For a little mask, it was good at hiding the truth.
Jared Martin
“Hey at least we we aren’t a part of a Twilight fan-fiction…wait.”
Jared Martin
“I will beat you senseless with a dildo if you make one peep this entire party.”
*sniffles* “You had me at dildo.”
Jim
He: “I’m wearing flannel long-johns underneath.”
She: “I’m wearing a burlap bra.”
He: “Oh, so kinky!”
Plissken99
Him: Don’t look down.
Her: why?
Him: The floor is completely covered in jizz and sawdust.
BERNIE WALLACE
I can’t wait for the party to be over so we can go back home and revise our relationship contract.
Csm101
Anastasia: “Let’s go back to your place and into that red room where you commit all kinds of kinky and debaucherous acts.”
Christian: “You mean my home theater? Sorry, no girls are allowed to touch those toys!”
Csm101
Anastasia: “I’m not wearing any panties…”
Christian: “Thats ’cause I’m wearing them.”
Csm101
Anastasia: “I’m wearing all your favorite shades of grey.”
Christian: “Thanks for telling me, I can’t see shit in this mask.”
Timcharger
“I am Groot. Wait, I think I’m in the wrong sequel.”
Csm101
At first glance this is a top notch hi-def transfer, but upon closer examination one can see the egregious use of noise reduction has completely erased the buttons off of Dornan’s tux shirt.
Csm101
“Stop looking at that woman’s big sweet ass.”
Timcharger
“See behind this mask, I’m now NOT YOUR CHRISTIAN anymore. Huh, huh, get it?”
Timcharger
“You have no idea how dirty. If we had a blacklight, this place would like a Jackson Pollack painting.”
Timcharger
“Only 50 shades? More like 50 million shades with HDR, baby!”
Timcharger
“I got an idea. We can make them completists double dip by releasing a 50 shades in black & white edition.”
Timcharger
She: “Really? That mask makes you look like you’re in blackface? You’re gonna make #50ShadesSoWhite start trending.”
Timcharger
He: “So let’s keep pretending the fact that I’m filthy rich, and that has no bearing to this ‘love’ story.”
She: “Sure and you can keep calling me Melania, too.”
Timcharger
She: “Don’t worry, it’s not fur. I humanely collected it from naturally shedding emo girl hair.”
Kyle
Did you hear? With HDR we can get even more shades of grey.
Alex
Masquerade!
Every face a different shade (50 of them). . .
Masquerade!
Look around – there’s another mask behind you!
Csm101
“Mmmm Christian, this fancy party is making me so wet!”
“I’m wet too, these hors d’ oeuvres they’re serving just made me shart.”
Deaditelord
Anastasia: “You are so going to think about that other woman’s ass when we have sex later tonight aren’t you?”
Christian: “Yes… Yes I am.”
Deaditelord
Christian: “Anastasia, does the phrase “Baby Got Back” mean anything to you because… damn.”
Csm101
“Let’s get outta here Anna. I refuse to pay seven dollars per drink. What a ripoff!”
Csm101
Finally, a superhero movie for grown ups!