Blu-ray Highlights for 12/6/11 – My Aching Head

It’s an odd phenomenon, the way that certain movies somehow manage to rake in tremendous amounts of money even though nobody at all seems to like them. One of the year’s worst and most-reviled mega-blockbusters comes to Blu-ray this week, and no doubt will sell a gajillion copies to people who really ought to know better. If we’re lucky, perhaps there might also be something more worthy on the release slate to buy instead.

We’re really not all that lucky. Here’s a look at the titles coming to Blu-ray this week:

The Hangover‘ wasn’t a great movie to begin with, but it was a reasonably funny comedy that was fortunate enough to strike a chord with audiences. After it became a huge hit, the studio naturally fast-tracked a sequel into production. By all accounts, ‘The Hangover: Part II‘ is exactly the same movie as ‘The Hangover’, beat-for-beat, just moved to a new setting and lacking any of the humor that people enjoyed the first time around. The movie was savaged by critics and received absolutely toxic word of mouth from everyone who saw it. Yet that didn’t stop the film from grossing over $560 million. How does this happen? I understand that people don’t like to listen to film critics anymore, but don’t they at least listen to their friends? Already greenlit for production: ‘The Hangover: Part III’. Because clearly people need to see the end of this epic trilogy.

Ah, anyway, we have a much more straightforward bomb this week with ‘Cowboys and Aliens‘. This is the sort of movie that’s made exclusively for Comic-Con audiences. Unfortunately, as studio heads keep forgetting for some reason, Comic-Con audiences don’t actually pay to see movies. The picture was a box office bust, and even the President of Universal Studios has admitted that it’s a piece of crap. But it has a big budget and lots of visual effects, so it’ll probably sell pretty well on Blu-ray regardless.

Speaking of bombs, ‘Mr. Popper’s Penguins‘ also comes out today. Why does Hollywood seem so intent on making the world believe that Jim Carrey is still a movie star? I’m certainly not buying it.

Another thing I’m not buying: ‘The Help‘. The movie was a surprise hit and will probably win a dozen Oscars, but I have no patience for treacly, condescending middlebrow bullshit like this. Did you know that the Civil Rights movement in America was single-handedly saved by a spunky white girl who wrote a book that taught everyone how to get along with each other? Oh right, because it wasn’t. Screw this.

The Debt‘. Did anyone see this? Did anyone have even the slightest desire to see this revenge thriller with Sam Worthington and Helen Mirren? Me neither. Which is fortunate, because it’s supposedly pretty awful.

Point Blank‘ is not the Lee Marvin crime movie from the ’60s. Nor is it a remake. It’s actually a French thriller about a trainee male nurse forced to become a criminal to save his wife. Word of mouth is that it’s silly but entertaining. This could be worth a rental.

On the TV front, I’ve seen a few episodes of Fred Arminsen’s IFC sitcom ‘Portlandia‘, and I still can’t figure out whether the show is supposed to be making fun of obnoxious hipsters, or celebrating everything about them. The parts I’ve watched have had a few sporadically funny moments, but nowhere near enough to convince me to own a season of it on video.

Let’s move on to catalog titles. Just in time for Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day tomorrow, Fox is issuing ‘Tora! Tora! Tora!‘ on Blu-ray today.

Those of you hoping that the ‘Mission: ImpossibleExtreme Trilogy Blu-ray Collection might finally see the three movies remastered, or at least provided with lossless audio, don’t get your hopes up. All signs point to this being a simple repackaging of the existing discs, timed to promote the new sequel in theaters.

This is a pretty dry week, isn’t it? Fortunately, Criterion comes through with a couple of classics. This week, the studio gives us Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘The Lady Vanishes‘ and Ernst Lubitsch’s ‘Design for Living‘. These and ‘Tora! Tora! Tora!’ are the only titles of the week I’ve bothered to add to my wish list.

21 comments

  1. Drew

    I know many people that love ‘The Hangover: Part II’. I even know some people that are huge fans of the first one, and like the sequel better. While I don’t agree witht that particular opinion, ‘Part II’ definitely has it’s merits.

    As it states in the HDD review, ‘The Hangover: Part II’ is certainly enjoyable on certain levels. If it wouldn’t have stuck to the formulaic recipe of the first ‘Hangover’ it actually could have made for an extremely entertaining black comedy.

    It’s not one of the worst films of the year. It was simply misguided, and stuck following a formula that didn’t work for the content. I’m picking it up today.

    I’m also going to blind buy ‘Cowboys and Aliens’, because I am just curious enough, and the HDD review pushed me off the fence on to the “buy” side.

    Another blind buy for me this week is ‘The Debt’.

    I’m also picking up ‘Dragon Tattoo Trilogy’, ‘The Help’, ‘Arabia 3D’, and ‘The Simpsons: The Complete Fourteenth Season’.

    • M. Enois Duarte

      Just remember, I have a certain tolerance for guilty-pleasure garbage. I love my art-house, avant-garde, formalist material, but I also find myself enjoying the standard Hollywood fare when it’s purely out of fun.

      When the story gets to be too stupid, like ‘Transformers 2,’ ‘Wild Wild West,’ ‘Stealth,’ ‘Speed 2’ or ‘Conan the Barbarian (2011),’ then I’m pissed and sorely disappointed. I even enjoyed ‘Green Lantern’ to a certain extent.

      • Drew

        I feel like I can relate to your taste more than that of any other HDD reviewer. My favorite films are the ambitious indie auteur types, but I love me some mindless fun from time to time. I definitely have a tolerance for guilty-pleasure drivel, as long as it retains a certain amount of intelligence.

        If you hated ‘Wild Wild West’, but were entertained by ‘Cowboys and Aliens’, I feel even more confident that I’ll find something worthwhile in it. 🙂

    • paramedic0112

      I wish I had the money to spend on as many crap movies as you do! Just curious, why not rent some of the these questionable movies first? Why so many blind buys of movies that so many people advise are horrible? I’m just saying that if you end up really liking them, then buy them.

      • JM

        I second the question. You have Netflix. Why all the blind-buying of shit?

        Just three for me this week, rentals all. ‘Medea,’ ‘The Debt,’ and ‘Rapt.’

        • Drew

          There’s no blind buying of shit. There is blind buying of potentially good entertainment.

          You call me out for blind buying shit, and then you say that you are going to watch one of the so called “shit” movies this week.

          My only blind buys this week are ‘Cowboys and Aliens’ and ‘The Debt’. As I alluded to before, both come recommended from HDD. The HDD reviews helped me get off of the fence on both of them. How exactly am I blind buying shit? Are you going to tell HDD to stop recommending shit if you feel this strongly about it?

          I cancelled my Netflix when it started charging more for hybrid users. I’m never going back.

          You continue paying $14 per month for a shit service that can’t even deliver mediocre HD content. I’ll continue buying potential jewels, and selling the ones that don’t turn out that way for as much or more than I pay for them during their release week discount.

          • JM

            Josh speculated that ‘The Debt’ is shit. Harry K. said it’s solid, worthy of a rental, so I’m going to take a whack at it.

            I misread your post. I thought you were blind-buying ‘The Help,’ ‘Arabia 3D,’ and Dragon 2&3. Obviously, since you’ve seen them, I retract the previous flirtation.

            I didn’t know you canceled Netflix. When they started raping hybrids, I just canceled streaming. I figure there are oodles of blu-rays worth renting but not buying.

            With a home theater like yours, I was surprised, but your buy-and-sell technique is something I never considered. Do you sell via Amazon?

          • Cowboys and Aliens is better than a lot of people make it out to be. It certainly is not a great movie, but it was enjoyable. Its not quite enjoyable enough for me to recommend a buy, but I can see there being a crowd for this movie.

            Keep your expectations low, and you may enjoy it as well.

          • Drew

            Josh speculates that almost every film ever made is shit. This is just my opinion, but Josh really doesn’t seem to like movies at all. He rips almost every single release on each Tuesday that he writes this post.

            Please don’t retract your previous flirtation. No harm, no foul.

            Yes, I agree that there are boatloads of blu-rays that are worth renting but not buying, but the raping of hybrid cutomers pissed me off too much to consider staying. I had to cancel out of mere principle.

            I’ve found that by buying and selling, I end up owning the films that I previously would have only rented and ended up wishing that I would have purchased. I sell anything that ends up being shit. It even gives me the time necessary to screen it a few times and decide if it’s a keeper.

            I sell on Amazon and half.com. I almost always get as much or more than I pay for the film during the release week discount period. I never list a film when I know it is being sold on a bargain basement discount at a major retailer.

          • JM

            I enjoy the Tuesday morning Zyber snark.

            Like most east coast critics, he has a wicked case of criticitis.

            His writing is disproportionately clever for his age.

            He rarely writes the blu-ray reviews, but when he does, it’s a treat.

          • I rarely blind-buy movies, unless its a classic, like Metropolis or Ten Commandments (finally got around to watching it about a month ago). I will rent if I am on the fence about something, and if I like the movie, I will buy it. I remember returning Interview With The Vampire to Blockbuster and going over to their new movies and buying it. Did the same with Inception, and several otehr movies.

            I am starting to sell older movies, though. In the early days of Blu-Ray, before Netflix started renting them, I blind-bought several movies.

            BTW, just because you cancel Netflix doesn’t mean that you cannot rent. There is still Blockbuster and Redbox.

      • Drew

        Which “crap” movies are you referring to exactly? ‘Dragon Tattoo Trilogy’? ‘Arabia 3D’? ‘The Hangover: Part II’?

        My only blind buys this week both come recommended from this very site. Have you read any of the reviews for ‘Cowboys and Aliens’ or ‘The Debt’ from sources that you actually trust. I happen to trust both HDD reviewers that did the reviews for these particular films.

        Why do I blind buy so many movies that “so many people advise are horrible”? I do? Really? Which ones? Apparently I missed the part where HDD and the other blu-ray review sites that I follow advised me that ‘C & A’, and ‘Debt’ are horrible.

  2. Drew

    “Did you know that the Civil Rights movement in America was single-handedly saved by a spunky white girl who wrote a book that taught everyone how to get along with each other? Oh right, because it wasn’t. Screw this.”

    Yep, that’s exactly what ‘The Help’ is saying – The Civil Rights movement in America was single-handedly saved by a spunky white girl who wrote a book that taught everyone how to get along with each other.

    That is — word-for-word — what the trailers said. “Come see the film that shows us that The Civil Rights movement in America took place, solely due to a spunky white girl.” That’s definitely what the movie is all about. It’s not just a story about some fictional events that take place during The Civil Rights movement. Not at all.

    • Josh Zyber
      Author

      The argument that it’s “just a story about some fictional events that take place during The Civil Rights movement” doesn’t hold a lot of water for me. Why did original author Kathryn Stockett choose to create this story and set it in this time period? It is clearly meant as allegory, with each of the characters schematically standing in for segments of society. This is just yet another patronizing Liberal Guilt fantasy about well-meaning white people who save helpless minorities.

      • funny how you use the term liberal guilt fantasy because it seems to me that the people who love the book and movie are mostly white Conservative people and the people that hate it are more of your liberal types which i would never get you confused with. your more of a get off my lawn you dang kids type. 🙂

        • Are you saying that Conservatives will set idely by and appreciate a movie that completely rewrites American History? Truthfully, I see that as neither a conservative or a liberal argument, but rather, its a movie that is going to appeal to a very specific market. Following the posts here the past couple of years, I doubt that this movie will appeal to anyone on this blog.

  3. paramedic0112

    I completely agree with Josh. I saw “The Help” in theaters at the request of a family member and Josh pretty much sums it up. It’s pretty much just a Hallmark or Lifetime movie. I think I was the only male in the audience. I’m not kidding. I’ll also just be getting Tora Tora Tora and the criterion movies.

  4. JM

    MB: It’s called ‘The Help.’ It’s very pink.

    CC: It’s ‘Dances With Wolves’ meets ‘Mississippi Burning.’

    MB: With Emma Stone, who’s about to be really hot right now.

    CC: We can shoot in Mississippi, for the tax incentive?

    MB: With the Oprah effect, marketing puts us one-fifty, two hundred.

    CC: We invest twenty-five…

    MB: Monica can reboot the kitchen.

    CC: No one wants this?

    MB: I can buy the book for a quarter.

    CC: After two Fantastic Fours, two Nights at the Museum…

    MB: Some condescending middlebrow bullshit could really cleanse the palate.

    CC: Who’s the director?

    MB: I don’t know, her fifth cousin. I met him, he’s fine. He almost made a film one time.

    CC: She sold him the rights before it was published.

    MB: It’s her debut. She doesn’t trust Hollywood.

    CC: DreamWorks eats it.

    MB: Disney shits it out.

    CC: We put our names on this, Zyber’s going to dick us around.

    MB: My body is ready.

    CC: Go put on your stockings and do a little dance.

    MB: Yes, Ma’am.

  5. This was terrific:

    “Speaking of bombs, ‘Mr. Popper’s Penguins‘ also comes out today. Why does Hollywood seem so intent on making the world believe that Jim Carrey is still a movie star? I’m certainly not buying it.

    “Another thing I’m not buying: ‘The Help‘. The movie was a surprise hit and will probably win a dozen Oscars, but I have no patience for treacly, condescending middlebrow bullshit like this. Did you know that the Civil Rights movement in America was single-handedly saved by a spunky white girl who wrote a book that taught everyone how to get along with each other? Oh right, because it wasn’t. Screw this.

    “‘The Debt‘. Did anyone see this? Did anyone have even the slightest desire to see this revenge thriller with Sam Worthington and Helen Mirren? Me neither. Which is fortunate, because it’s supposedly pretty awful.”

    This literally had me laughing out loud. This is some delicious scorn. If you could bottle it, I’d buy it as a party gag. Paradoxically, I’ll be significantly less entertained when some genuinely good films debut on blu-ray.

    On another note, “The Hangover: Part 2” should receive some serious consideration for the best comedy Oscar.